Bai Li’s Dream – Chapter 80

Chapter 80: Situation

When Zhou Jingyun woke up, the inside of the bed curtains was dimly lit.

He was sleeping on his side facing outwards, and even without turning around, he could feel the person pressed against his back.

Perhaps it was because of being read to sleep, or perhaps because of her poor spirits and inability to maintain her posture while sleeping without vigilance, Zhuang Li hadn’t faced inwards these past two days. Instead, she had switched to various sleeping positions. First, she lay flat, and this morning, she simply leaned against him.

Zhou Jingyun gently got up, sat up, and glanced sideways. In the dim morning light, Zhuang Li had one hand resting on her face, the other spread out beside her, sleeping soundly.

Her originally pale complexion had improved a lot.

As she had said, sleeping well would make her better.

Then her deficiency of Qi and blood must have been caused by staying up late. That made sense; after all, she was just a teenager. Her family had suffered such a great tragedy, all her relatives were dead, and it was already strong of her to survive.

Zhou Jingyun watched her quietly for a moment, then lifted the bed curtains, got up, and walked out.

The morning light gradually brightened, and the world became lively.

When Zhang Shilin arrived, it was already midday. Zhuang Li was no longer lying in bed but sitting at the desk, fiddling with incense ingredients.

“I can tell without taking your pulse that Madam is in much better spirits.” Zhang Shilin said, then asked, “Do you still need me to take your pulse?”

This Doctor Zhang had truly ingrained in his memory that she knew how to take pulses and understood medicine. As they say, the more people meet, the more likely they are to form bonds. Zhuang Li smiled and sat down on the Arhat bed.

“I’m very clear about my own condition; this is mainly for the elders and the Marquis’s Heir.” She said, “They trust Doctor Zhang more, and I can’t let down their concern. I’ll have to trouble Doctor Zhang.”

Zhang Shilin laughed; he was just teasing her.

“I’ve received my consultation fee; I can’t let Madam do my work for me.” He said with a smile, taking out the pulse pillow and checking Zhuang Li’s pulse. After examining her pulse, he agreed with her assessment. “There’s no serious problem.”

He then adjusted the prescription, focusing on nourishment.

Since Zhou Jingyun was not at home and men and women should maintain a proper distance, he didn’t stay long.

“Show this to the Marquis’s Heir and the Madam; it will put their minds at ease.”

Zhuang Li took the prescription and expressed her thanks. She had Chun Yue prepare a red envelope and see Doctor Zhang out.

Before leaving, Zhang Shilin looked at Zhuang Li again: “Madam, please eat more. You’re young and a bit frail; it’s inevitable that your Qi and blood are deficient. Having married into a family like the Marquis of Dongyang, you should nourish yourself well. Once your health is restored, you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

This kind of advice went beyond a doctor’s duty, as if he pitied a poor, lonely woman who had married into a wealthy family.

Chun Yue couldn’t help but look at Zhuang Li, thinking, Madam wasn’t fat, but she wasn’t so frail that she couldn’t eat enough, right? In fact, Madam had quite an appetite.

Zhuang Li smiled and bowed to Zhang Shilin in gratitude: “Thank you for your concern, Doctor Zhang.”

Zhang Shilin coughed lightly, said no more, and left.

Chun Yue returned after seeing him off and couldn’t help but scrutinize Zhuang Li. The more she looked, the more she felt Doctor Zhang’s pity was justified. The Madam in her sight seemed different from before. She nodded, “Madam has lost a lot of weight after this illness.”

Zhuang Li glanced at her, pursed her lips, and smiled, saying, “The book says, ‘The wind blows through different apertures, producing different sounds, entirely due to the state of each aperture.’ ”

Chun Yue pouted, “Does Madam have to force this servant to study hard?”

Zhuang Li laughed: “No need, no need. I can read now; you don’t have to work hard. I’ll explain it to you. It means that the wind blowing through different apertures will produce different sounds, entirely due to the state of each aperture.”

She looked at Chun Yue, her eyes filled with amusement.

“Faced with the same thing, different people will have different reactions. This reaction lies not in others but in oneself. So those who pity me will see me and think I’m frail, while those who dislike me will see me and find me repulsive.”

Chun Yue probably understood. Madam meant that Doctor Zhang felt pity for her because he thought she was lonely and pitiful. That’s why he saw her as thinner and thinner. Even if Madam wasn’t that frail, he still thought she was.

Chun Yue couldn’t help but laugh and say, “That’s why I like Madam. In my eyes, Madam is approachable and kind.”

Zhuang Li nodded: “Yes, you think I’m good because you’re a good person.”

This sounded strange again. Chun Yue pursed her lips and smiled, “What is Madam saying? It’s because Madam is good that people like her.”

One can know a person’s face but not their heart. Most people are strangers to each other. How can one know whether the other person is good or bad just by meeting them once and looking at them?

Of course, she wasn’t really talking to Chun Yue about this; she was talking about her own abnormality.

But this was not something that could be explained.

✿✿✿

The soft clinking of a teacup interrupted Zhuang Li’s thoughts. She watched as Chun Yue placed the tea on the desk.

“Madam, don’t overthink things.” Chun Yue said with concern, “Are you lost in thought again?”

Zhuang Li smiled: “It’s easy to get lost in thought when I’m not reading or writing.” She glanced outside, seeing through the window the chrysanthemums blooming in the courtyard. “Go and cut a chrysanthemum that Aunt sent.”

Chun Yue was delighted: “Madam wants to make dried flowers.” She then asked, “Do you want buds or fully bloomed ones?”

Zhuang Li said, “Fully bloomed ones are fine.”

Chun Yue went to choose one and cut it. Watching Zhuang Li begin to blend incense, she retreated. Madam didn’t like them being around.

Chun Hong had once boldly asked why. That time, besides saying that she liked to be alone, Madam added, “It’s for your own good,” and said no more.

Did she think that because of her low status and her mother-in-law’s dislike, they might also be implicated? So she didn’t let them get too close?

But since Madam had said so, they would respect her wishes.

The room was quiet. As the incense smoke curled up from the Boshan burner, Zhuang Li held the chrysanthemum, gently arranging its cloud-like petals.

” ‘Form like withered wood, heart like dead ashes,’ ” she murmured, examining the flower in her hand. “Just like me, heaven and earth were born with me, all things are one with me, without feeling, without consciousness, without spirit, without enlightenment. I am not me, people are not people, flowers are no longer flowers.”

As she caressed it, white smoke also entwined the flower. With each twist of smoke, the bright orange petals faded a little. Gradually, amidst the swirling smoke, the vibrant chrysanthemum turned grayish-white and withered, as if its soul had been extracted.

✿✿✿

✿✿✿

When Zhou Jingyun returned from the Ministry of Revenue, he saw a new earthenware pot in the room, with a plump, trembling, drooping, golden chrysanthemum.

“Why does it bloom even better in the vase than on the branch?” He said.

Zhuang Li handed him a cup of tea and said with a smile, “I haven’t been writing lately, and the Marquis’s Heir has started praising flowers again.”

Zhou Jingyun chuckled and took the teacup: “It’s the truth. You, you don’t like being praised, do you?”

Zhuang Li smiled but didn’t reply.

“I’ll go to Mother’s place first.” Zhou Jingyun said, then turned to ask Chun Yue, “What’s for dinner tonight? Last night, Mother had porridge made with fresh pears; I found it quite good.”

This meant he would be having dinner here tonight. Chun Yue happily replied, “Yes, it’s already being cooked.”

Zhou Jingyun nodded, finished his tea in one gulp, handed the cup to Zhuang Li, and headed out.

Zhuang Li watched the maids happily prepare the meal.

“He’ll probably be back after a short while.” Chun Yue said with a smile, “Dinner’s early today. After Madam and the Marquis’s Heir finish eating, you can take a stroll in the garden. The autumn flowers in our garden are all in bloom; they’re very beautiful.”

Zhuang Li nodded. Just as she did, she saw Zhou Jingyun stride in, his face grim.

“Aunt is unwell.” He said in a deep voice, “Mother and I are going over to see her.”

Why so suddenly…

Seeing Zhou Jingyun about to leave, Zhuang Li quickly reached out and grabbed his arm.

“I’ll go too.” She said.

Zhou Jingyun hesitated: “You don’t need to go for now. It’s just the right time for you to rest. I’ll go and see what’s happening first.”

Zhuang Li held onto his arm, refusing to let go: “Aunt treats me like her own daughter. Hearing that Mother is unwell, I can’t not go as her daughter.”

Zhou Jingyun felt the strength in the hand gripping his arm and saw her determined expression. He nodded, “Alright, let’s go together.”

All done! It’s been a long time since I’ve written this kind of plot, and I keep having to remind myself not to panic, not to rush, and to take it slow. If you feel the plot is slow or boring, you can save it up and read it later.