Bai Li’s Dream – Chapter 124

Chapter 124: Awakening

The imperial procession was to return to the capital tomorrow, so the capital was still under curfew tonight.

The multi-storey boat docked at the pier was lit up, and occasional laughter could be heard, but it quickly disappeared into the night.

In the quiet cabin, Jixiang looked at the incense stick held in Shangguan Yue’s hand.

“Young Master, are you really going to use this?” he asked again.

Early this morning, Young Master suddenly ordered him to find something that could make people fall unconscious but wouldn’t harm their body too much.

Such things were not uncommon, ranging from tea to potions to soporific incense.

Young Master ultimately chose a stick of soporific incense.

But he thought it was for someone else, he didn’t expect Young Master to use it himself.

“Young Master, you’ve just been injured,” Jixiang reminded him, “and it was smoke poisoning.”

Although this soporific incense wouldn’t be fatal, every medicine had its side effects, let alone something that wasn’t inherently benevolent.

It was too risky for Young Master to use this.

“I’ll just try it once,” Shangguan Yue said, sighing softly, “It’s better than really being on the verge of death.”

What did it mean to be on the verge of death? Jixiang didn’t understand.

Shangguan Yue didn’t elaborate: “I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days, I can’t take it anymore. Don’t worry, I’ll only use it once, I won’t overuse it.”

Not sleeping well? Jixiang was surprised and then realized, these past few days, Young Master had been sleeping day and night, looking like he couldn’t get enough sleep. It turned out it was because he wasn’t sleeping well.

“Alright,” he nodded, “This servant will wait outside the door and wake Young Master up in time.”

The door closed, the cabin fell into darkness, Shangguan Yue looked at the burning incense, and lay down.

He thought carefully, he had always been someone who didn’t dream. He only had memories of two dreams, both of which were when Bai Li appeared, and as soon as Bai Li appeared, he instantly woke up.

Although he didn’t know why, he guessed that if he wanted to say a few more words to Bai Li, he had to remain unconscious.

“Whether it works or not, it depends on tonight,” he muttered to himself, closing his eyes.

✿✿✿

✿✿✿

Zhuang Li once again stood by the window, listening to the boisterous cheers, watching the imperial procession slowly pass by.

This time she looked across the street.

Shangguan Yue across the street was yawning with his sleeve raised, then turned around before her gaze could catch him.

The laughter of the young masters over there also came again.

She had skipped this part in last night’s dream. Zhuang Li withdrew her gaze and looked at Zhou Jingyun who was walking over. He smiled at her as before, and Zhuang Li smiled back, still standing by the window and waving to Zhou Jingyun.

Actually, there was another scene where she could see Shangguan Yue, which was when she saved him, but she was in a dream then, and that dream made her feel dangerous.

Zhuang Li looked up at the street, the Emperor’s carriage had already arrived, and everyone knelt down to kowtow and shout “Long live!”

Zhuang Li just waited quietly for Bai Ying’s carriage to come over.

This time she didn’t look at Bai Ying inside, but looked across the street past Bai Ying.

Shangguan Yue’s eyes were like stars in the dim world, the stars getting closer and closer, engulfing the entire world.

Zhuang Li closed her eyes.

✿✿✿

✿✿✿

The night wind seemed to seep into the cabin through the doors and windows.

Besides the dampness of the river water, a fragrance gradually spread.

The sleeping Shangguan Yue’s nose twitched slightly.

So familiar.

Such a familiar scent.

He couldn’t help but sniff hard, his eyelids began to tremble, as if he was about to wake up, but with the soporific smoke filling the room, he eventually tilted his head and remained still.

✿✿✿

…….

Zhuang Li looked down at the young child lying on the ground.

This Realm of No Dreams was created by layers upon layers of this child’s dreams. If he woke up, the dream world would cease to exist.

There was a way, though. She could try to wake him up from the deepest layer of his dream.

Zhuang Li fell forward onto the child, dissipating like smoke.

Zhuang Li fell layer by layer, seeing one young child after another lying quietly before her eyes.

Last time, she only looked at a few layers, but she didn’t expect that if she continued to explore, it would be like an endless abyss.

Was this person really a child? How could a child have such deep consciousness?

Just when she suspected that it was her own confused consciousness that caused her to keep repeating the dream, her feet finally hit the ground.

This time, she stood beside the young child, no longer falling.

Feeling more tired than if she had traveled thousands of miles in a dream, Zhuang Li exhaled and sat down, looking at the child, then reached out and poked his face.

Once, twice, three times.

Perhaps because the dream layers were too deep, the child was not as sensitive as the first one, waking up as soon as she approached. Zhuang Li poked him a few times, and only when she pinched his nose did he open his eyes.

The moment he opened his eyes, Zhuang Li couldn’t help but look around nervously.

The dream world seemed to shake for a moment, but it didn’t collapse, and she didn’t disappear either.

She withdrew her gaze and looked at the child again. The child was also looking at her with his almond-shaped eyes.

If it weren’t for being in the deepest part of the Heart Sea, these eyes should have been very lively.

But at this moment, because the dream was so deep, his eyes were a bit empty and dazed.

“Who are you?” he asked, then murmured, “Where’s my mother?”

Calling for his mother, the little mouth flattened, and tears fell down.

Were children so easy to cry? Don’t cry, crying in a dream could easily wake him up.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Zhuang Li hurriedly reached out to touch his face and said softly, “Mother is here.”

The child raised his hand and pushed her hand away.

“You’re not my mother!” he said, his dull voice with a hint of fluctuation, as if he was angry.

Ah, hadn’t it changed?

Logically speaking, she should have transformed into the person the dream owner wanted to see or was afraid of, just like Madam Xue saw her as her mother, and Madam Lin saw her as Zhu Shan in the mirror.

But, forget it, this Realm of No Dreams was already very strange, she couldn’t apply normal logic to it.

Because of this interruption, the child stopped crying, tears still on his face, his eyes dazed, looking even more dull.

Being in the deepest part of the Heart Sea, with so many layers of dreams, one might even forget who they were.

Zhuang Li asked: “Child, who are you?”

The child said blankly: “Don’t be impudent.”

Zhuang Li chuckled. Although his consciousness was slow, he hadn’t forgotten his manners, which showed it was ingrained in his bones. He was indeed either rich or noble.

How to coax a child?

Zhuang Li thought for a moment.

“If you don’t tell me your name,” she squatted down and looked at the child, raising her hands in front of her face and grabbing, “I’ll eat your mother.”

Along with this sentence, she made a chomping sound.

If it were in a normal dream, at this moment, she would have turned into a tiger or other ferocious beast in the other person’s eyes.

She had been good at this kind of thing since she was a child.

At night, she would run into the dreams of the children who bullied her and threw stones at her during the day, turning into tigers and monsters to scare them.

Unfortunately, perhaps because of the special nature of the Realm of No Dreams, her face was all scrunched up, still a human face.

Was it less intimidating to scare someone with a human face?

The child in front of her didn’t scream or fall down, he just stared blankly and shed tears.

“Don’t eat my mother,” he said, “Mother—”

Oh no, he was crying again, why were children so prone to crying? His tears were even more abundant than last time, gushing out like a spring.

Zhuang Li hurriedly reached out to wipe his tears: “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid.” She said, waving her hand forcefully, “Don’t worry, I’ve driven the beast away, I will protect your mother.”

The child looked at her with dull eyes, a glimmer of life flickering within them.

“Really?” he said, “You will protect my mother?”

He was a child who was very close to his mother. Zhuang Li looked at him, the smile on her face becoming gentle, and nodded vigorously: “I will definitely protect your mother.”

The child stood up straight and bowed solemnly to her: “Thank you.”

Zhuang Li sighed inwardly, no longer teasing the child.

“Who is thanking me?” she said with a smile, looking at the child, “What’s your name?”

The child raised his head, looked at her, his expression a bit dazed.

“I…” He seemed to be trying hard to think, slowly uttering a name, “My name is, Li Yu.”

Li Yu?

Not Shangguan Yue?

Zhuang Li thought, maybe because she was looking at Shangguan Yue in the dream, there was a layer separating them, and she ultimately failed to jump into his dream.

Although she didn’t find Shangguan Yue, it was an unexpected surprise.

She marked this Realm of No Dreams, in case she needed to take shelter here again when encountering the Imperial Bell or other dangers.

“Li Yu, Yu, this name…” Zhuang Li sat down and looked at the child, repeating the name, curiously asking, “Do you have many brothers and sisters in your family?”

The child, either because he was young or because it was the consciousness from the deepest part of his Heart Sea, looked blankly, not understanding, and only said: “My mother gave me this name.”

Perhaps this was something that made him happy, a smile appeared on his dull face, and his eyes became lively.

He was a child who was very close to his mother. The deepest part of his Heart Sea held his mother.

Mother.

Zhuang Li sat with her knees hugged, who wouldn’t want to be close to their mother? It was a pity she didn’t have one.

“It’s a good name,” she said, then looked at the child, unable to resist showing off, “My name was also given to me by my mother.”

The child made an “oh” sound and went back to being dull.

Zhuang Li looked at him and asked, “Li Yu, how old are you this year?”

✿✿✿

The child said, “I’m four years old.” He grabbed a string of beads in front of him, a smile appearing on his dull face, “It’s a birthday gift my mother just gave me.”

Zhuang Li couldn’t help but lean closer, reaching out to touch the beads, envy in her eyes.

“It’s so beautiful,” she said.

This time, she couldn’t say that she also had a gift from her mother.

Her birthday was the anniversary of her mother’s death.

Her life was exchanged for her mother’s life.

Zhuang Li withdrew her hand, hugged her knees, and buried her head in her arms.

Why was she born?

It would be better if she didn’t exist in this world.

Not only did she kill her mother, but she was also born a monster.

She often had out-of-body experiences, many times she was thought to be dead, then she suddenly came back to life, bringing fright.

As she grew older, more strangeness manifested.

Many people, when they looked at her, didn’t see her, causing them to become absent-minded, startled, and confused. Maids sprained their ankles, wet nurses fell into ditches, and even her father, several times in battles, suffered defeats because of his absent-mindedness.

In fact, let alone her second sister’s disgust for her, she also disgusted herself.

When she first understood things, but didn’t quite understand life and death, because she heard the servants at home whispering that it would be better if Third Miss died, that she should have been drowned at birth, she really tried to kill herself.

But for a child, it wasn’t easy to kill oneself. She couldn’t tie the rope for hanging, she couldn’t reach the water tank for drowning, she wanted to jump from the roof but couldn’t climb the ladder, she wanted to starve herself, but her father saw through her thoughts.

“Ah Li, if you die, you’ll be letting your mother down!”

Her father pulled her out of the cabinet where she was starving herself.

“Anyone can die, but you can’t, you must live well, live with your mother.”

Could she live well? Everyone disliked her, everyone hated her, she looked at her father.

Her father lifted her up and put her on his shoulders.

“Yes, of course you can.”

“In this world, as long as you don’t dislike yourself, no one can dislike you. As long as you don’t wrong yourself, no one can wrong you!”

“Ah Li, be fearless, be unrestrained.”

She sat on her father’s shoulders, slowly opening her mouth, “Be fearless, be unrestrained.”

From a mumbled childish voice to a clear and bright one.

Be fearless, be unrestrained.

Zhuang Li moved her lips, the corners of her mouth also curving slightly, but the next moment, the corners of her mouth drooped again.

But, in the end, the Bai family was still destroyed.

On the execution ground, in the prison, the hearts of her relatives and clansmen were filled with grief, cries, and hatred, all because there was a jinx in the family.

“Are you crying?”

The child’s voice came.

Zhuang Li came back to her senses, raised her head, and smiled at the child: “I’m not.”

The child looked at the teardrops on her cheeks, seemingly puzzled.

Zhuang Li stretched out her index fingers and wiped away the two teardrops: “These are pearls.”

It was a pity that this dream world couldn’t materialize things at will.

Otherwise, they should really turn into pearls now.

The result was still tears.

Zhuang Li could see disdain on the child’s dull face.

But he was a polite child, he didn’t call her a liar, just turned his gaze away, as if trying to find his mother.

Zhuang Li breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps because things couldn’t change at will in this dream world, she also became unrestrained, thinking about the past, the relatives she had lost.

She didn’t dare to do this at other times, lest she lose her way and sink into the dream world, never to wake up again.

“Li Yu, where do you live?” she continued with the matter at hand.

She wondered if such a young child knew his home address?

Judging by his clothes and demeanor, he must travel with carriages and servants.

The child looked elsewhere and said blankly: “Yong…” He seemed to think hard before continuing, “Yongxing Ward.”

Zhuang Li had been in the capital for half a year, but the places she had actually visited were limited, and she didn’t know where Yongxing Ward was. But it didn’t matter, she could ask when she woke up.

Next was to leave a mark on the child. She searched in her mind if there was a “Yu” character among the borrowed word souls to give to the child as a gift later.

As she was searching, the child started crying.

“Mother, mother.”

Zhuang Li hurriedly tried to pull him and comfort him, but the child refused to let her near.

“Bad person, bad person.” Terror appeared in his dull eyes, he shook his sleeves.

This child, how did she look like a bad person? Could it be that she didn’t look like herself in the Realm of No Dreams? Zhuang Li reached out to him: “Do you have a mirror? Give me a mirror.”

The child looked at her with wariness and confusion.

“Do you know what a mirror is? Does your mother have a mirror?” Zhuang Li softened her voice and asked, gesturing.

Perhaps because she mentioned his mother, the child was very familiar with things related to his mother.

“My mother has one,” he said, “She has a big mirror—”

As his voice fell, a magnificent dressing table appeared on the empty ground, with a large bronze mirror on it.

The originally dim dream world became dazzlingly beautiful.

As expected of a wealthy family, Zhuang Li sighed. The child had already run to the mirror, swaying in front of it.

“Mother is outside, I’m in the mirror,” he said blankly, “Mother is in the mirror, I’m outside the mirror.”

Although his voice and expression were dull, there was joy in his words.

Obviously, this was a game he often played with his mother.

Zhuang Li seemed to see a noble lady putting on makeup, holding the child, smiling at the mirror.

She was so envious.

In fact, when Bai Ying was putting on makeup when they were young, she would also go and watch.

Every child was curious about makeup and mirrors, right?

But it was impossible to sit next to Bai Ying, she would only secretly stand behind and peek, only to be seen by Bai Ying.

“Go away!”

She would run away, then sneak back, and then make faces.

“Bai San!”

Bai Ying would drop her half-done hair and chase after her with her skirt lifted.

Zhuang Li couldn’t help but laugh, it was quite fun.

But the child was crying while looking at the mirror now, “Mother, mother—”

Perhaps it was because no matter how he swayed, his mother didn’t appear in the mirror or outside the mirror.

Zhuang Li hurriedly moved over.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, think hard, your mother is watching you,” she said softly, guiding him.

The child looked at her directly, he wouldn’t see her as his mother, but through the mirror he brought out in his dream, he might see her as his mother.

The child looked at the mirror with tears in his eyes, Zhuang Li also looked over.

In the dim bronze mirror, a woman was kneeling, and a child was standing beside her.

Zhuang Li tilted her head at the mirror, and the person in the mirror also tilted her head.

Zhuang Li took a step closer to the mirror to get a better look at her face.

“Li Yu, what does your mother look like?” she asked, looking past her reflection in the mirror at the child standing behind her.

The child was thinking blankly.

Zhuang Li smiled at his reflection in the mirror: “Does she look good when she smiles?”

But before the child could answer, her smile in the mirror froze.

The surroundings became dim, the mirror bright, clearly reflecting her face.

She saw a slender eyebrow, a round eye with a black pupil, and half of a slightly upturned corner of her mouth.

This was her familiar face.

And the other half of her face had an arched eyebrow like distant mountains, a pair of eyes like autumn water, and half of a cherry-like mouth.

Who was she?

Zhuang Li saw the slightly upturned mouth open: “Li Yu, is this, your mother?”

She raised her finger and pointed to the other half of her face.

The child in the mirror pointed at her and shouted: “Bad person—”

As he shouted, Zhuang Li saw her face shatter.

She reached out to cover her face, as if trying to pick up the pieces, and the next moment, the entire ground collapsed.

Zhuang Li screamed and sat up.

She saw darkness, it was the darkest hour before dawn.

She reached out to pull open the bed curtains, whether because she got up too quickly or got out of bed too hastily, she was tripped by the curtains and fell to the ground, knocking over the table beside her, shattering the teapot and spilling the tea.

Lights lit up outside, accompanied by hurried footsteps. Chun Yue rushed in holding a candle, and saw Zhuang Li kneeling amidst the mess.

Zhuang Li saw her and reached out: “Bring me, a mirror.”

Chun Yue’s voice broke through her throat, piercing the night.

“Young Madam—”

Another update, the more I write, the more I update. Suddenly I don’t want to save drafts anymore, let’s just keep going like this and see when it will stop updating.