Bai Li’s Dream – Chapter 139

Chapter 139: The Past

Meeting that child was an accident.

It was winter at that time, and there wasn’t such a beautiful scenery of green grass like a blanket.

She had also sprained her foot and couldn’t walk. Zhuang Feizi asked the old servant to go back and call for someone, and they waited here.

Zhuang Feizi went to pick up firewood to start a bonfire. She sat on a rock, wrapped tightly in her cloak, and looked at the winter mountain forest.

The winter mountain forest was like jagged rocks. That child suddenly emerged from the jaggedness.

Riding a black horse, the horse was thin and small, and the person on the horse was also thin and small. At first glance, it looked as if a rock had suddenly grown out of the ground.

The thought flashed through her mind, and she only felt that there was really a rock in front of her, not a child.

The rock was being carried by a horse.

This, this, this…..

Was she seeing things?

Huang Ru gasped for breath and coughed violently.

The horse stopped, and the girl on horseback snorted, “Ah Huang, let’s go. There are people here, so annoying.”

As she spoke, the rock in front of her eyes faded away, and there was only a girl on horseback, eight or nine years old, wearing a blue jacket and skirt, a felt hat, and a pair of bright eyes.

She couldn’t help but shout, “Feizi, Feizi——”

Zhuang Feizi, who was picking up firewood not far away, hurriedly responded, “Ah Ru, are you alright——” He rushed over with the firewood in his arms, but saw that his wife was not lying on the ground, but standing up.

It seemed that she choked on her breath because of anxiety, and coughed repeatedly.

Zhuang Feizi hurriedly patted her, but his wife shook her head and refused.

“Look——” she said coughing, pointing to the front.

Zhuang Feizi followed her finger and was startled by the girl who suddenly appeared.

The girl on horseback held her chin high, and the black horse turned in place, seemingly urging its master to leave.

“What bad luck, to encounter people in such a remote mountain forest.” The girl muttered, then raised her voice, “You guys go quickly, the wolves will come when it gets dark.”

She muttered again.

“And I’ll be blamed again if they die.”

She didn’t care what the girl said, she only asked Zhuang Feizi: “Did you see it?”

Zhuang Feizi supported her and looked behind the girl: “I, I can’t see clearly, it seems like there are wolves.”

The couple huddled together in the mountain forest, trembling, unsure whether from cold or fear.

The girl snorted again and pointed to the left with her hand, “Hey, you go that way, and you can get out.”

The couple didn’t speak or move, they just kept looking at her.

The girl sighed and turned her horse around.

“Don’t go——” she hurriedly shouted, “Let me see you.”

The girl turned back, her expression somewhat provocative: “What did you see? A mountain spirit? A wild beast? A monster?”

She pushed away Zhuang Feizi’s support and said softly: “I saw a treasure of the human world.”

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Zhuang Li stood beside Madam Zhuang, watching the horse-riding girl appear according to Madam Zhuang’s thoughts.

That familiar yet unfamiliar face.

The expression on her face…

Indeed, a very unlikable child.

Unlike now, Zhuang Li reached out and touched her face, now she was well-behaved and cute.

She raised her hand again and gestured her height.

She was taller now.

She couldn’t help but smile, and looked at Zhuang Feizi standing behind Madam Zhuang.

It had been a long time since she had seen Master.

Master looked very young at this time.

In a wife’s heart, her husband always remains as he was when he was young.

She looked at the girl again, Madam Zhuang had already reached out to greet the girl.

At that time, it was the first time she heard someone say she was a treasure of the human world.

She didn’t understand what it meant at the time.

But seeing that this woman didn’t go crazy and curse, loathe, drive her away like others did when they saw her, instead she smiled and said such things as treasure.

She really wanted to hear the woman say more, such as how she was a treasure…

Which child doesn’t like to be praised, to be liked?

So she didn’t ride away.

But Madam Zhuang didn’t say any more nice things, but with a bit of pity and some seriousness, “But child, how can you not cherish yourself? Turning yourself into such a strange appearance.”

She was furious at the time.

She didn’t cherish herself? How could she cherish herself? She was the pity in her father’s mouth, the hate in her sister’s mouth, the fear in the mouths of the nannies and maids, the disgust in the mouths of the neighbors…

It was others who said she was a monster!

She didn’t want to be like this!

She was wrong, this woman was just like the others, although she didn’t yell or cry, she also hated her.

She was very angry, and couldn’t wait to scare them in her dreams at night, she charged towards the woman on horseback at this moment——

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Zhuang Li covered her face with a little embarrassment, she was indeed a bit bad-tempered when she was a child.

But in the dreamscape of Madam Zhuang in front of her, the girl charged over on horseback, but she didn’t raise a cloud of dust with a ferocious look, nor did she whip her horse and pass by.

Madam Zhuang opened her arms to the girl.

The girl on horseback also lost her hostility, threw herself into her arms, and let out giggles.

Master Zhuang beside him also stroked his beard and smiled.

Zhuang Li was stunned, and she also laughed. In Madam Zhuang’s eyes, she was cute even when she was losing her temper, and she didn’t remember any of her bad behavior.

She watched as Madam Zhuang caressed the girl’s face and combed her messy hair. The surroundings constantly changed with Madam Zhuang’s chaotic memories, by the river, in the wilderness, in the academy.

Zhuang Li looked at the surrounding scenery with a bit of nostalgia.

When she met Master Zhuang and his wife in the wild, she deliberately rode away, but she was worried about them after all, and secretly came back to watch from the side.

The bonfire was lit, and the couple were roasting a flatbread.

Really pitiful, they didn’t even have meat.

She drove a hare over and killed it in front of the bonfire.

Madam Zhuang was a little stunned, Master Zhuang smiled, winked at Madam Zhuang and pointed to the rock where she was hiding.

The two of them didn’t shout at her again, let alone drive her away. They took out brushes, ink, paper, inkstones and other items from their bags, as well as a wooden board. Master Zhuang spread the paper on it and began to draw. Madam Zhuang roasted the rabbit while watching Master Zhuang draw, occasionally taking the brush and adding a few strokes.

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She was very curious at the time, but she was too embarrassed to go forward, so she kept hiding behind the rock, and even picked up a branch, imitating Master Zhuang’s appearance and scribbling on the ground.

As it was getting dark, many people came from the foot of the mountain, leading horses and carrying a soft sedan chair.

“Master, Madam.” They shouted in a flurry.

Then they packed up their things and put out the bonfire. Master Zhuang got on the horse, and Madam Zhuang sat in the soft sedan chair.

They were leaving.

She couldn’t help but step out from behind the rock again.

“Hey!” she shouted.

Everyone looked over, and then as expected, there was a commotion mixed with strange shouts like “What is that?”, “Wild fox!”, “Bandit!”.

Madam Zhuang waved her hand to signal everyone to be quiet, shook her hand and shouted with a smile: “We’ll go back first, you should go home too.”

Was she saying goodbye to her?

Just like the children playing together on the street, when it gets dark and they go home, they say goodbye to each other and say they will play together tomorrow.

No one had ever played with her, and no one had ever said goodbye to her.

She couldn’t help but take another step forward.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

She actually didn’t know why she asked people’s names, let alone that it was very impolite for a child to talk like that.

She just saw that this person was leaving, and she couldn’t help but want to remember it for a while longer.

The woman sitting in the sedan chair turned her head and smiled: “My name is Huang Ru.”

Huang Ru.

She repeated it silently for a moment, watching the group leave.

The woman named Huang Ru didn’t ask her name.

She was a little sad at the time, but it was nothing, no one cared about her name.

She thought it was just a chance encounter in the mountains, and she would never see them again. Unexpectedly, a few days later, her father came back from the military camp with two people.

“Hello, young lady.” The woman named Huang Ru smiled at her.

She was shocked at the time, and a little wary.

Were they here to complain to her father?

She couldn’t help but step back.

Her second older sister was already married, she couldn’t hide behind her second older sister anymore.

“We’re here to give you a gift.” Huang Ru said, “Thank you for giving us rabbits to eat that day.”

Master Zhuang took out a scroll and opened it. It was a painting, a colorful painting.

At first glance it was messy and dazzling.

But you could tell that it was a picture of a girl on horseback.

It was her that day.

It was her but not her, because the face was also strange, it seemed to be blurred, but from different angles, even with the blink of an eye, it changed into different appearances.

“Oh, this is my Ah Li.” Her father pointed and said.

But one of her older brothers said it didn’t look like her, it was ugly, another older brother said it was exaggerated and too beautiful, her sisters-in-law also gathered around to look, everyone had different opinions.

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking at the portrait, yes, that’s right, this was her, the different her in everyone’s eyes.

She saw her portrait for the first time, someone was able to draw her.

Her father wanted to buy the portrait, but they said they didn’t want money, they gave it to her.

She took the portrait and looked at Huang Ru and Zhuang Feizi.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” she asked them, “I’m very bad….”

“You’re not bad.” Huang Ru interrupted her, squatted down and held her hand, “You are a treasure of heaven and earth.”

She said that again.

Since she said she was a treasure, then…

“Then buy me.” she said.

This was a whim, but it was actually well thought out.

She had long wanted to leave home, lest her family be implicated by her and always have bad luck.

Her father certainly disagreed, but after her repeated insistence, and Master Zhuang and his wife explained to her father that it was not a real purchase, but taking her as a disciple.

“You don’t want her to be disliked by everyone all her life, do you?” Master Zhuang said, “She is a good child, and needs to be carefully polished.”

Her father agreed: “Go, go out and see the scenery outside.”

She traveled with Master Zhuang and his wife, and in three years she traveled to many places and saw the world she had never seen before.

Master Zhuang taught her to read, Madam Zhuang taught her to write, paint, play music, burn incense, and control her mind.

Master Zhuang held a scroll and asked her to read aloud and explained it to her.

“Nan Guo Zi Qi sat hidden in his machine, looked up at the sky and sighed, his appearance as if he had lost his mate. Yan Cheng Zi You stood before him and said: ‘What is this? Can the body really be made like withered wood, and the mind really be made like dead ashes? Is the one hidden in the machine today not the one hidden in the machine of the past?’ Zi Qi said: ‘Yan, isn’t it good that you ask this! Now I have lost myself, do you know this? You have heard the sounds of man but not the sounds of earth, you have heard the sounds of earth but not the sounds of heaven!'”（Note）

“And you are naturally like withered wood and dead ashes.”

“You follow your heart, all things are one with you, others see you, but they don’t see you, they only see their own desires.”

“‘I have lost myself,’ this is the state that those of us who seek the Tao dream of, and you have achieved it from birth.”

“Ah Li, you are not an unlucky person, you are a treasure of heaven and earth.”

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All things are one with her, so what is going on with her now?

Are others also one with her?

Zhuang Li looked at the dreamscape in front of her, Madam Zhuang was measuring a new dress on the girl…

She reached out and pulled, the new dress dissipated, and the girl and Master Zhuang who was writing beside her also dissipated.

She turned around and faced Madam Zhuang.

“Then what about me? What happened to me?” she asked, “Huang Ru, in your eyes, am I still me?”

Madam Zhuang looked at her, her expression dazed, she moved her lips with difficulty.

Don’t ask.

But it was too late, the dreamscape shook, and she returned to the street.

（Note: Zhuangzi, Chapter 2: Discussion on Making All Things Equal》）

There are two more chapters, and this backstory will be explained clearly, and the female lead should take action. Love you all, if the reading is not smooth, you can save the chapters.