Chapter 10
When I opened the door, a typical deliveryman wearing a full-face motorcycle helmet stood before me, holding a large metal delivery box.
He very naturally opened the metal delivery box with a clatter and placed the dishes of jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk, wrapped in plastic, inside the room.
“Enjoy your meal!”
I felt puzzled by the deliveryman’s behavior: how he found me, whether the food was actually what I ordered, and how he quickly closed the door without even taking any money.
Why is there jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk, but no danmuji, the most important part?
Grumbling about the Chinese restaurant lacking basic service, I was moving the dishes when I felt a rough piece of paper stuck to the bottom of one.
Taking it out, I saw it was something like a business card, but it was a call girl service card, the kind you’d find in a very old inn or a motel near a red-light district.
It was obvious that a call girl from this kind of motel would be similar to the prostitutes in a brothel, or even older ajummas.
The only link to call women who can no longer call themselves ‘girls’. This means that the motel owner and a nearby Chinese restaurant are in cahoots, running a call girl referral business.
If a man like me enters the motel alone, they pretend to offer a free meal and subtly hand out a call girl service card.
Anyway, they charge at least 50,000 won for a motel room, and calling a call girl costs around 70,000 to 120,000 won, which the Chinese restaurant and the call girl split appropriately.
A set of mass-produced jajangmyeon made with a machine, not hand-pulled, and tangsuyuk made with meat of unknown origin is definitely a profitable business.
After all, humans are animals driven by primal desires.
Wouldn’t the call girl service card naturally catch my eye if I were to pick my teeth and lie down on the bed after unexpectedly enjoying free jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk?
Then, with a glimmer of hope, I might call a call girl, and if a call girl arrives, just like this jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk set, I’d pay a reasonable price and satisfy my needs.
Like enjoying rice cakes after attending a shamanic ritual.
Only then did I realize how such a motel could still exist in the heart of Seoul, and why the motel owner was leisurely watching TV.
In fact, the motel owner was a very resourceful person. To think he collaborated with a Chinese restaurant that minimized costs and even involved call girls to generate additional income.
This kind of shady business leaves no evidence and the police rarely investigate, so it’s surprisingly safe.
“To think I could feel the profundity of the social economy in just an old motel and cheap food.”
I mixed the jajangmyeon, expressing my deep gratitude to the motel owner for teaching me about life.
I’m still annoyed that the danmuji didn’t come, but considering I haven’t eaten anything recently, I decided to generously forgive them.
The important thing is the calories that go into my stomach. Whether it’s bugs or cheap food, as long as it doesn’t k*ll me, I have to be content with filling my stomach; that’s human life.
‘At least it’s better than the stale rice and kimchi scraps I received while going from one relative’s house to another.’
Maybe that’s when it started, my habit of relieving stress through eating.
I devoured the jajangmyeon with its surprisingly good sauce, full of MSG despite being cheap, and the tangsuyuk, which couldn’t be anything but delicious since it was deep-fried.
Slurp! Crunch!
I started by lightly slurping the noodles, then grabbed two pieces of tangsuyuk and stuffed them into my mouth. No, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I shoved them down my throat, eating with gusto.
After finishing the jajangmyeon set in a flash, I got up to take the dishes outside.
And just as I was walking towards the door, faint footsteps echoed from outside.
“…”
I opened the door and looked around, but the hallway, devoid of light due to the tall buildings flanking the motel, was empty.
Since I had no intention of calling a call girl, I left the call girl service card next to the dishes by the door.
And the moment I closed the door.
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
Had it been only a second since I closed the door? No, maybe even less time had passed. The doorbell rang as soon as the door closed and the lock automatically engaged.
What was even more surprising was that unlike the deliveryman’s low, raspy voice, this time it was definitely a soft, feminine voice.
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
Humans tend to have other thoughts when their backs are warm and their stomachs are full. If you’ve satisfied your need for sleep and food, the only thing left is sexual desire.
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
So in this series of events, I must have triggered something.
Motels are places to stay. In other words, the moment a guest enters their own room, they begin to rest.
They wash up, lie down on the bed to soothe their tired body, order something to eat if they’re hungry, or eat out, and then there’s only one thing left.
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
In other words, this is a ‘phenomenon’ created by a long-standing ‘system’.
A student who studied diligently at his desk until he got a heat rash on his buttocks made the mistake of filling out the answer sheet incorrectly on the day of the exam, failing to achieve a perfect score.
As a result, overwhelmed by his mistake, his misfortune, and the pressure of a cold and harsh society that doesn’t tolerate even the smallest errors, the student ultimately takes an extreme measure.
He runs with all his might on the rooftop of a tall building, climbs over the railing, and dives to the ground dozens of meters below. From the moment his body is suspended in the air, he feels regret rather than sadness, despair rather than relief, but it’s too late.
On the ground, where he landed headfirst, the anger, regret, despair, and resentment of someone who was not ready to d*e due to a momentary wrong choice seep out.
So, does the soul of the student who died like that become an earthbound spirit or a demon? Surprisingly, that’s not always the case.
I did confirm information that the probability of becoming an earthbound spirit is higher for someone who dies a specific death in a specific place under specific circumstances, but there are no accurate statistics.
I merely read, at my own discretion, the lamentations of anonymous shamans and those with spiritual insights, scattered across the internet like pent-up frustrations.
In simpler terms, it’s a repetition of a phenomenon caused by an error in the system.
The student who missed a perfect score on his exam takes a bungee jump without a cord, resenting the world, and the result is him bungee jumping again in spirit form, a self-satisfying act to make his grievance known to the world.
In room 404 of an old motel that shouldn’t exist, the motel owner who ran a shady business, the Chinese restaurant owner, and the call girl. The error that exists between them is, needless to say, the guest who stayed in room 404.
And now, the guest is none other than me.
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
Because I am an error, I distorted the system and triggered this abnormal phenomenon.
If I weren’t an error, if I hadn’t chosen this motel in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened.
But thinking like that connects s*itty modifiers like fate and destiny to my life, so I stopped those useless thoughts.
This is my choice.
Not the life of Han Siu planned by that great Lord Jesus, but the life and choice of Han Dae-ri, the very existence that I am.
There’s no room for things like fate or destiny here, nor G*d’s providence or guidance.
It’s just that one of the many trials Han Dae-ri has to go through has just arrived.
“I promised to send everything related to me to Heaven, didn’t I?”
Even if it means grabbing you all by the hair and making you kneel before Lord Jesus to repent, I will fill Heaven’s capacity to the brim.
I’m saying I’ll personally lend a hand to G*d’s selfish human management. Please use them to fill Heaven’s seats with zealots, but I hope you’ll exclude me.
Because if that G*d resides with his fanatics for all eternity, that place is no longer Heaven, nor Paradise.
If the seeds outside that door are acceptable, please take them.
Even though they are insignificant seeds that you haven’t even glanced at, and haven’t personally taken to Heaven, didn’t you say you love all things equally?
So, please accept those seeds into Heaven, even though you planned to throw them into H*ll when the time comes and clean them all up.
Although they are nothing but trash that doesn’t belong in Heaven because they stink and have accumulated so much karma, aren’t they still your children?
I’m offering to make them repent on their behalf as a service. You won’t say no, will you?
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
“I ordered Chinese food, not a call girl.”
Ding-dong!
━Room 404, delivery!
“I ordered a call girl, not Chinese food.”
Ding-dong!
━Guest in room 404, please open the door.
“I ordered both Chinese food and a call girl.”
━……
Ding-dong!
━Room 404, your order! Slurp, chomp, smack! Slurp! Chomp, chomp, chomp! Sizzle! Gurgle! Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch! Sip, sip, sip! Gulp! Munch, munch, munch, munch!
“I ordered a demure, quiet ace call girl who’s even better than a .5, and a jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk set so good you’d eat it ’til you d*e, with extra pickled radish and complimentary fried dumplings.”
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding!
━Guest in room 404! Your jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk set made from a demure, quiet ace call girl who’s even better than a .5, with extra pickled radish and complimentary fried dumplings, has arrived!
“I ordered an ace call girl so good you’d have a threesome ’til someone dies, and a jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk set so I can quietly and demurely slurp noodles. Lots of condoms and lube as a service, please.”
Bang!
The door of room 404 was ripped outwards right in front of me, where I was standing quietly.
There stood an ace deliveryman, with long hair made of jajangmyeon noodles, a face of fried dumplings, and a body of soft, snowy tangsuyuk, demurely and quietly holding out pickled radish chopsticks and a box of condoms drenched in lube.
A being whose sins were deep and numerous, one of many error （guests） involved in this place, like me.
“Lord Jesus hated business. The fact that he particularly cracked down on merchants in Jerusalem might be because he was disgusted by the sight of humans corrupted by money. That’s why he even chided Judas Iscariot, who was particularly stingy with money, asking if he was upset because he couldn’t sell this perfume and make money. Then why did he hate money so much? The answer is because he’s a creator’s son with a silver spoon, and everything in the world belongs to his father. He hated it because uncivilized humans fought and corrupted themselves over his father’s belongings. Isn’t it funny?”
I quietly opened the Bible.
“Nevertheless, the reason why conflict and corruption don’t disappear from this world is because Lord Jesus wanted to filter out chaff like you. This might sound like blasphemy, but the proof that He, who loves all things equally, is actually only looking after his fanatics even as you suffer here, bound to this place, is right here.”
You must feel wronged.
The motel owner, deliveryman, and call girl, who were just following the set system, would have been busy with their shady business as usual.
Then they must have gotten involved with a suspicious guest in room 404, someone who probably looked shabby and mentally unstable like me.
At first, the deliveryman who didn’t bring pickled radish got unluckily involved.
He was murdered after a fight over a trivial reason.
But the guest, without a shred of guilt, cleaned up the deliveryman’s body, quietly ate the jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk without pickled radish, and then found the call girl’s contact information.
The call girl, who was called without knowing anything, was used to satisfy the murderer’s desires and then killed in the same way.
Finally, the motel owner was also killed by the murderer who realized that the service he received from the system was worse than expected.
That’s why I received the key to room 404, which shouldn’t have existed, and was recognized as an error in this place.
I’m not sure, but judging by the hideous sins emanating from the being in front of me and the state of the sinners screaming in pain, that’s roughly the story.
“Listen, you who were wrongly designed from the beginning by the Creator, and suffered a terrible life where you couldn’t freely choose anything, and ended up committing sins and suffering.”
I spoke quietly to the being dripping with jajangmyeon sauce.
“Is the guest you should be looking for, questioning, and holding accountable really me? Or…”
I quietly raised my index finger and pointed upwards.
“…is it the one up there who doesn’t love you, respect you, or save you?”
Kneel before me and truly repent. And pray with all your heart and soul. Until your soul burns.
Then you might ascend to the Heaven you so desperately desire, and finally stand before Lord Jesus.
The curiosity, resentment, sadness, anger, and satisfaction you’ve never tasted before, all piled up like sediment within you, you will gain through Him.
“The place you truly belong is not H*ll, which condemns you for the sole reason that you lived an unfair and unequal life.”
A prison for victims who are kicked out at the very last moment because they didn’t and couldn’t believe.
I pledged to send the prisoners who should be going to prison upwards. You created them and gave them their fate, so you should be responsible for them until the very end.
“I’m not a representative, nor a servant. Much less a pitiful lamb like you. I am simply me. A signpost in the middle of the road that can show you the right way. Or are you going to pretend you didn’t see the signpost and walk into the pit of H*ll yourself? If it were me, I’d go to Heaven out of spite.”
So repent, pray. And if you have any to spare, offer some donations and tithes.
━Aaaaaaaaaah……!
Crackle!
As the being covered in greasy jajangmyeon sauce knelt before me, I quietly placed my hand on his head.
“What do you repent for?”
━The sin of trying to bear alone a life cursed, not blessed, and being destroyed!
“What do you pray for?”
━Salvation!
“Then do you believe in Lord Jesus?”
━I believe! Because that’s the only way to go to Heaven!
“Then go now. To where you truly belong, to the side of Lord Jesus, overflowing with the blessings and love you never received.”
When the dark, greasy jajangmyeon sauce melted like ice cream, and the crispy fried dumplings and tangsuyuk became soggy and then completely rotted away.
I knew that the numerous sinners involved in this place had ascended to Heaven.
“S*x.”
It was a truly satisfying exorcism.
