Chapter 2
When I opened my eyes, my lips felt dry and my throat parched.
The room was pitch black because I had left the lights off and the blinds drawn. I fumbled around for my smartphone and habitually unlocked the screen.
━329 Unread KakaoTalk messages
━26 Unread text messages
━21 Missed calls
Ah, right. I threw my resignation letter today and walked out, leaving all my work behind.
But the company never said I had to hand over my responsibilities before leaving. Even if I had stubbornly insisted on doing a handover, they would have refused anyway.
So even if clients complain, it’s not my fault.
The higher-ups at the clients I was working with （sales） must be furious, suddenly having their contact changed and their projects disrupted.
I was the most diligent worker, always putting in overtime and entertaining clients. It’s no wonder the company’s in chaos after just one day.
I’m just going to look forward to my severance pay and last paycheck and enjoy being unemployed for a while.
Only after I turned on the lights and illuminated the dark house did I notice the blood scab on my palm. I always clenched my fist until it felt like it would shatter when I was angry, so I constantly had wounds from my nails digging into my skin.
I rinsed my hand in the sink and then took out a sterilized bandage from the first-aid kit and wrapped it around my hand. It was such a familiar routine that I always kept sterilized bandages on hand, even when I didn’t have ramen in the house.
“I really don’t even have ramen…”
My stomach, which had been empty for two days straight, was screaming for food, so I decided to eat first. But when I opened the cupboard, there was nothing there.
There were a few cans of tuna and canola oil that the company gave out every holiday, but that wasn’t enough to fill me up. I can’t believe I don’t even have any instant rice.
Lately, all I’d done when I came home was shower and sleep, so the problem was that I hadn’t been grocery shopping in a while.
It was 9:09 PM on September 9, 2025, just as the summer heat was fading and early autumn was setting in. I felt a strange sense of unease about the peculiar date and time as I grabbed my wallet.
Perhaps because I had spent a long time without anything of my own after the age of eight, I never learned how to spend money well.
During my school years, I even saved the meager allowance I received from relatives in my personal bank account, and I did the same with the money I earned from part-time jobs.
Except for spending the bare minimum needed for living expenses, the money in my account rarely decreased.
That strange habit didn’t change even after I became a working a*ult, so I had saved up a considerable amount of money for a third-year office worker.
It also helped that my fixed expenses were relatively low because I lived in government-provided youth rental housing instead of paying expensive monthly rent.
‘Since I’m taking a break from work, should I spend some money?’
My only hobby was playing games on the computer. Even that was just a light hobby to k*ll time efficiently on the rare holidays I had.
Fishing and golf, which I learned because of client entertainment, would be perfect hobbies for an a*ult man… but I have no one to enjoy them with. More than anything, I don’t have a car, so it’s difficult to enjoy them alone.
I really have nothing going for me, and I’m good at nothing.
As I grumbled to myself and continued walking, I arrived at a small to medium-sized supermarket near the residential area.
It was quite late, so there weren’t any housewives shopping for dinner ingredients. I heard that the competition among housewives is fierce because fresh vegetables and meat sell out quickly from the early hours.
Only a sense of desolation hung over the liquor & snacks corner, tucked away in the back of the supermarket, waiting for a penniless single man like me to come along and pick them up while lamenting his fate.
I couldn’t just walk past them, so I chose a can of beer, a bottle of soju to mix with it, and some spicy-salty dried meat, perfect for soju and beer. Salted fried peanuts would have been good too, but the quantity is so small it wouldn’t even touch the sides.
Next, I naturally headed to the snack aisle and tossed some potato chips into my basket. I walked a little further and swept up ramen and instant rice.
This natural course felt like a red carpet for single men. It was also a photo line where you could see the pathetic sight of a single man who doesn’t take care of himself in real-time.
If I had been wandering around this corner in the early evening, I would have received pitiful looks from the housewives. If it had been in the morning, I would have received glares from the employees doing inventory.
Either way, no matter what time of day, a single man wandering around this corner wouldn’t get a good look.
But who cares?
This little indulgence is the most effective way to satisfy the needs of a body exhausted and stressed from overwork.
It’s the typical life of someone like me to cook ramen late at night, drink, and chuckle at my bleak future.
Some people say this:
Why don’t you go to the gym, take care of your health, and socialize with people? Of course, I did that.
The fact that my body isn’t completely wrecked after 3 years of this lifestyle is thanks to the training I did. But now it doesn’t matter anymore.
I’m tired of working like a machine, getting yelled at, and then exercising like a machine to relieve stress. I decided one machine-like task was enough and quit the gym.
“That’ll be 36,200 won.”
“I’ll pay by card. I don’t need a receipt.”
My debit card was swiped with a beep, and 36,200 won worth of indulgence was entirely in my hands.
I walked back through the dark streets, carrying the large plastic bag that had become quite heavy.
I passed by a school where someone’s youth might be unfolding, and was about to pass a quiet church where someone’s faith might be slumbering, when…
…Chuckle.
“!”
I stopped walking at the strange sound of laughter that faintly echoed through the empty street. It was at that moment…
That something heavy fell right in front of me as I turned my head.
Crrraaaassshhh!
“…”
Less than 3 meters away, I saw a large metal pole embedded in the asphalt road.
It was the crucifix from the top of the church steeple, plunged into the ground upside down.
The crucifix, which had stood firm even through powerful summer typhoons and earthquakes that shook buildings, had crashed in front of me without warning.
As I cautiously looked up at the top of the church steeple, I saw sparks flying with a ‘pop!’ as the neon sign that had been connected to the crucifix shorted out.
Thanks to the light from the sparks, I briefly saw a small crow.
As soon as the sparks disappeared, as if the church’s circuit breaker had tripped, the crow also vanished from sight. It was as if there had never been a black bird in the dark night to begin with.
“What bad luck…”
Knowing I shouldn’t, I impulsively kicked the crucifix in a fit of anger.
Now that I’ve quit my job, I’m planning to live like a b*m for a while and embrace my s*itty life. Kicking the crucifix that almost crushed me is fine, right?
The pastor, who has to come out for dawn prayer earlier than any other believer, will probably cry when he sees the crucifix fallen upside down in front of the church. Not only will the repair costs be enormous, but it’s not a pleasant sight for the church’s appearance either.
I felt a little less angry knowing that the misfortune that should have been mine alone had been transferred to someone else.
Until now, I was always the one who had to shoulder all the misfortune and suppress my anger. But now that I’ve stepped out of the framework of society, the world looks so different.
How can I not feel good?
I went straight home, put a pot of water on the stove, and cracked open the soju.
I like to mix cold beer and soju in a large glass at a specific ratio. Most people buy large quantities like pitchers of beer and drink like crazy, but I always preferred moderate amounts.
As if hypnotizing myself that there’s no drinking habit more fitting for my mediocre life.
I cooked ramen in the boiling water and heated up frozen dumplings in the microwave. Then I sat down in the living room and set up a late dinner-c*m-drinking session.
I slurped down the chewy ramen and munched on the steaming hot dumplings. Washing it down with the pre-mixed soju and beer is pure heaven.
Yes, even if the world is s*itty and no different from h*ll, this moment, this place, is comparable to the heaven that fanatics so desperately desire.
Even if people sneered and said this life is entirely my choice, I could confidently retort:
Don’t act so self-righteous when you didn’t give everyone equal choices.
It wasn’t my choice to lose my parents at eight and be shuffled between relatives’ houses.
It wasn’t my choice that the bastards who insulted my parents right in front of me, forcing me to throw punches, happened to be near me.
I was always a victim, forced into unfair choices and only enduring them, never the one making the choices.
After hours of drinking alone and laughing to myself,
I hiccuped my way back to my room.
The desolate room with the same crucifix.
When I closed the blinds and shut the door, it felt like a prison cell, confining me.
Even though it hadn’t been long since I woke up, I flopped back down on the mattress. And as always, the crucifix hanging on the wall came into view.
Come to think of it, the crucifix that had stood tall on the church steeple had fallen, so it was annoying that the small, flimsy crucifix was still hanging there.
So I flung my smartphone at it, knocking it down. The crucifix, miraculously landing upside down, was no longer visible unless I craned my neck.
Only then could I fall asleep satisfied.
