Chapter 33
“He’s suffering.”
“Call her”that b*tch.”If you call this”him,”it makes us, who are stripping and tormenting her, look g*y.”
“My apologies. This impudent b*tch is suffering greatly, it seems.”
Being g*y is a serious matter.
S Man, the Deacon, having sprinkled holy water, solemnly stepped back. It was now my turn to lead the exorcism.
“You nameless, worthless, pitiful harlot. If Jesus sees this tragedy and recalls the nightmare of Sodom and Gomorrah, that day’s destruction will be repeated. Do you truly desire to hear the angels’ trumpets sound?”
“You guys like this kind of stuff too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“We don’t have the hobby of sleeping with men. Much less the hobby of embracing a woman who’s possessing a man’s body and acting coy. So, what are you? Nothing more than a beast, obsessed with l*st, neither man nor woman?”
“Kyahahahahahaha! Kkal! Kihihihihihihi! All you virgins say that! But reality is the same! Like that guy, you all put on an act, pretending to be cool and all that, just to get laid! Men are all the same! It’s not me, it’s men who are the true beasts!!!!!!!!”
“This person has truly repented before Jesus. Even though she slept with a man, she’s neither g*y nor a beast. And from a biological perspective, men inherently desire to spread their seed. You’re no longer even a living being, yet you don’t hesitate to violate the dignity and value of life. Are you perhaps bitter because you don’t have your own body? If you’re so bitter, you shouldn’t have become a ghost. Even S Man, a graduate of a prestigious university, wholeheartedly agrees on this point.”
“Yes, I agree.”
“Although he’s East Asian, he speaks with native-level fluency, no less than a Westerner. Can you feel the power of superior genes emanating from this man? It’s truly unfortunate for you, unable to receive, embrace, or nurture this man’s excellent genes.”
I spoke while circling the bed with S Man, his arm around my waist.
“Ladies and gentlemen, come take a look! Here we have a beast, neither man nor woman, a reproductive failure!”
“Eolsoo!”
“S-Stop……!”
“Look at the fake woman who desires superior genes more than anyone, but can never have them! She’s a complete biological failure~.”
“wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”
“D*mn it! Look at this mess! She couldn’t receive the love of men while alive, and didn’t have the guts to possess a beautiful woman’s body! In the end, she hid in a mediocre man’s body, mimicking a woman, worse than a s*it-covered dog!”
“Please stop laughing! If you keep this up, I’ll end up doing somersaults! Heitcha!”
S Man stepped on my knee and vigorously jumped up, performing a somersault. I, too, stepped on S Man’s knee and lightly did a somersault.
“Stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Look, Deacon. This lowly, inferior, pathetic, and ugly reproductive failure is begging us to stop poking at her sore spots. Even though what she truly desires is to come.”
“Keuk! If my balls were in better shape, I would’ve smacked her!”
“But save them. Balls are precious.”
We looked with pity at the evil spirit now thrashing madly, shaking the bed, its whole body trembling.
“If you desire a man so much, I can call a few over. Even if you write ’60-year-old woman with AIDS’ in your profile on a random chat app, there will be plenty of guys who’ll come running.”
“I tried it as a joke once, and it was amazing. Why do they do that?”
“Because a v*gina is Pandora’s Box. Whether it’s infected with AIDS or a shriveled 60-year-old bulgogi v*gina, they can’t be satisfied until they open it themselves. That’s why they all come running.”
“I should reflect on that. I should’ve been more careful.”
“It’s fine now that you know.”
Patting the dejected S Man on the shoulder, I looked at the broken vuvuzela. It seems the cheap plastic couldn’t handle it and broke.
But even if the vuvuzela became vuvu/zela, the exorcism couldn’t stop. Stubborn ones like this need a harsh dose of reality to make them repent.
I approached the evil spirit and whispered in its ear.
“Your parents probably had a serious discussion the moment you were born. Should we eat seaweed soup? Or should we hang ourselves with seaweed?”
“Eeeeeeeeeeeee!”
“Personally, I think it would’ve been the latter. I doubt your parents would have accepted something like you as their child and quietly eaten seaweed soup. Even if it was beef seaweed soup with sauteed sausage and vegetables.”
“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“What’s no? Your unbearably pathetic life, from childhood to adolescence? It’s too late to deny that miserable life where you couldn’t even have a conversation with a man, let alone be embraced by one. It’s because you didn’t become a ghost out of resentment towards a specific person, right? The one who truly held the grudge was the world that couldn’t embrace the pathetic you! Just like those pathetic unemployed bastards who claim that society is to blame for their inability to find a job!”
“Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop.”
“Girls your age were probably already acting like little s*uts in middle school, getting eyelash extensions and wearing makeup! While you were sitting in a corner obsessing over idols you could never reach, those b*tches were sucking real men’s dicks! Hearing the words ‘I love you’ dozens, hundreds, thousands of times! And when they grew up, they got double eyelid surgery, maybe even some facial contouring, and some fat dissolving injections! With those perfectly crafted faces, they became the campus queens, enjoying all the good things life had to offer, and then snagged a good man and got a job! Even at this moment, they’re probably sipping wine with their steak, living like elegant celebrities!”
“◈◈◈◈◈◈&^$%$^#$^&◈◈◈◈◈◈^◈◈◈◈◈◈（◈◈◈◈◈◈_）+（）+_#$（◈◈◈◈◈◈@）（@+_+_#（_）（◈◈◈◈◈◈%ㄲ）（@#『email protected』!!!!!!!”
“But there’s one man who will love even you, equally, infinitely, and warmly.”
The demon, who had been rolling its eyes, foaming at the mouth, and throwing a tantrum, stopped moving. It only creaked its neck to look at me.
Its expression seemed to ask who that could possibly be. Who could accept it, even in this hideous state?
I know one such man. In fact, I’m certain there’s only one.
“Deacon. Cue the music.”
“Yes.”
As Wiz Khalifa’s”See You Again,”a song that stirs the soul, began to play, I took out my broken pocket watch and checked the time.
The hour hand pointed to 11, the minute hand was almost at 12, and the second hand had just passed 6.
I gently stroked the demon’s head. Even though it was a wretched beast, needing a man to become transgender to compensate for its lack of beauty and femininity, it deserved to be loved.
Even if, as a man, it was an unforgivably wicked b*tch, it deserved a chance to repent, be saved, and find eternal rest.
Because that is faith, peace, and love.
“Listen carefully, you poor lamb. The only man who has never taken His eyes off you since you were born is the one and only absolute being, the great Father of all creation, who sits on the high throne of Heaven, the Lord Jesus, Father.”
“…Really?”
“Of course. Close your eyes and listen quietly. Can’t you hear Jesus calling you? ‘Come here, come to me, sit beside me, wash away your past sins, and be freed from suffering.'”
“I, I think I can hear it…”
“Really? You can really hear it?”
“Yes, yes! I can hear it! I can hear His voice calling me!”
“Then why are you still here?”
“……!”
“Countless others have already gone before you, yet you intend to lag behind even in the face of His call? Hasn’t your worthless life been enough of a setback?”
“Ahhhh, ahhhhhhh! You’re right! I won’t fall behind anymore! Faster than anyone else, I’ll be different, unique, like a traveler on a beat, riding the rhythm, I’ll go ahead!”
“Then go now! I will personally be your guarantor, so go to Heaven without worry, without lingering, without regret! He awaits you!”
I took the holy water I’d snatched from S Man and sprayed it extravagantly, like popping a champagne bottle at a wedding.
As I did, all the wicked energy melted away like snow, and a single soul, ugly yet clean, wretched yet pure, soared skyward like a rocket.
Hoping it wouldn’t explode mid-flight like the Naro rocket, S Man and I waved towards the sky.
“Sniff. Is this how fathers feel when they send their daughters off to get married? I feel tears welling up for some reason.”
“Just as there’s a reason for every e*aculation, there’s a parting for every meeting. Don’t dwell on it too much. You did well enough.”
Considering it f*cked a man, that is.
“We still have one more thing to do.”
“What is it?”
“What else, you d*mbass? We have to get rid of the body.”
We quickly came back to reality, faced with the body of Seon-yeong, who had died long ago when the demon left her.
“We can’t call the police… right?”
“I won’t stop you if you want to lose your job, your career, and your social standing. Just so you know, I erased my identity, so I won’t get caught.”
“As expected of someone in your line of work, your resolve is different. I admire you.”
“Ah, I was a normal office worker like you before I started doing this s*it. You know XX Trading, a subsidiary of XX Group?”
“Oh? They’re one of our company’s clients.”
“I was their ace salesman, d*mn it.”
“Ah, I heard there was a famous person there…”
“It’s all in the past. But d*mn, she’s heavy. You lift too.”
“I’ll take the back.”
We wrapped Seon-yeong’s body in a thick blanket and left the motel.
Some of Kkakdugi’s gangster buddies were blocking the entrance, but after I preached the word of Jesus （physically persuaded them）, they cleared the way.
We transferred the body to a large duffel bag we bought at the department store and tossed it into the incinerator.
Getting an incinerator wasn’t that difficult in Hongdae, as long as you had Mrs. Kim Bok-ja’s word.
Another case solved. Good job, Assistant Manager Han!
