Chapter 5
“W-What are you?!”
I was forcibly laid down on a bed in a modest break room, furnished only with a small bed, a wall-mounted TV with a partition, and a single table. My limbs were bound.
The man who had been calmly observing the scene looked down at me with an indifferent gaze and muttered.
“It seems you truly have no awareness.”
“He seems to be a peculiar case, even among the possessed, Father Seong.”
“If evil had truly manifested itself consciously, he wouldn’t have drunk the holy water in the first place. It’s a bit perplexing that he claims to be unaware after committing such acts.”
The two men, who had taken off their black, robe-like coats and folded them aside, were wearing black priestly garments, the kind you’d only see in a church.
Only then, even with my throbbing head, did I grasp what was happening. Were these people seriously assuming I was a possessed madman and just grabbed me?
“No! Wait! I think there’s some misunderstanding. I…”
“Is that so? Yohan, do you also think we’ve mistaken the person?”
“No, Father Seong.”
“Then tell me why not.”
Yohan quietly turned on the wall-mounted TV and switched to a news channel. As it happened to be the 8 o’clock news, the anchor first delivered breaking news.
━Breaking news at 8. Another serial murder, presumed to be the work of the same perpetrator, has occurred in XX-dong, XX-gu, Seoul.
━The first murders were of employees Baek, Kim, Lee, and Kim, affiliated with A Labor Service. However, the crime didn’t end there. A day later, the president of A Labor Service, Lee Jeong-seok, was found dead, leading the police to suspect the same perpetrator.
━With a total of 12 deaths so far, the police authorities have announced that while an intensive, large-scale investigation is underway, they are facing difficulties as most of the crime scenes lack CCTV or have non-functional ones.
“Do you remember now?”
“No, what… What does that have to do with me?”
“Do you still not remember, or are you pretending not to know?”
Ignoring whether or not the priest clicked his tongue at me, I kept watching the news with wide eyes.
The head of the metropolitan investigation unit appeared, explaining the serial murders in Seoul.
He expressed his certainty that the crimes were committed by the same person due to the many overlapping factors, like the method of killing, the relationships between the victims, and the time and secluded locations of the incidents.
He also declared his strong will to catch the culprit by mobilizing all police forces and advised Seoul citizens to avoid walking alone at night.
‘So that’s why there were so few people on the streets, even though it’s evening.’
I understood why only these two were here, even though usually, people who enjoy drinking would be sitting at the bar, sipping cocktails from the evening onwards.
But at the same time, how did they predict I would come to this place? Also, how did they know I was related to this incident and grab me without any explanation?
In the first place.
I’m this normal, so why are they looking at me like that?
“Yohan, start recording.”
“Yes.”
Yohan pulled out a camcorder and a folding tripod from his heavy briefcase, set them up in a corner of the room, and started recording.
And on the table, I noticed strange tools, a cross, and a Bible that seemed to have been prepared at some point.
“No, wait, I really didn’t do anything…”
“Our Father in Heaven, please allow this humble servant to save this lost lamb from evil. Illuminate the darkness with your brilliant holy light and punish the evil with your unmatched omnipotence, so that you may forgive the sins of this poor lamb. Amen.”
The priest, who started praying on his own without listening to me, crossed his forehead and chest with his fingers.
Please listen to me! Why won’t anyone listen to me?!
Why are you ignoring and persecuting me? What did I do so wrong? When did I ever ask to be an orphan? I haven’t done anything except diligently work when everyone else was having fun, even as an a*ult!
So why does everyone ignore me and insult my character?!
“Respect me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Crackle! Sizzle!
The wall-mounted TV abruptly turned off, and the lights in the break room flickered repeatedly.
The young man called Yohan flinched for a moment but then, unconcerned, poured clear water from a large glass bottle into a small metal bowl.
The priest touched the cross to his forehead and whispered something too softly for me to hear. It felt like he was blatantly ignoring me, making me even angrier.
What should I do with this uncontrollable rage?
Unleash it.
Don’t hold back.
“Save us from evil.”
Splash!
The priest, finishing his prayer, scooped up some water from the metal bowl with something like a small ladle and sprinkled it on me. A stinging pain and heat exploded, as if saltwater had been poured on exposed flesh.
“Ugh!”
“In the name of the great G*d, come forth and beg for forgiveness.”
Splash!
“Ugh! Argh! Uaaaagh!!!!”
Thud! Thud!
I desperately tried to exert force, but all I could manage was to shake the bed. Even this wouldn’t have shaken as much if it had been a sturdy Simmons bed.
More importantly, why am I tied up here, getting splashed with strange water? Is this hydrochloric acid, by any chance?
The priest, ceasing his acid attack, quietly approached and whispered to me.
“XX Pub, around 7:21 PM, you assaulted two employees of a labor service company who were arguing with the owner and ran away. Although the scene wasn’t recorded because the pub’s CCTV was broken, we secured the owner’s testimony. And the four employees of the labor service company who were with you all chased you and were found dead the next day in a deserted place.”
“That’s…actually, I was the one who got beaten up.”
“You remember, but you still don’t have any awareness. If you were unilaterally beaten by those burly labor service employees, would you have been able to come to this bar unharmed?”
Now that I think about it, he was right. If I had been caught by those guys, I would have been hospitalized, not walking around freely. I would have been laid up for months.
But that’s why it makes even less sense. I’m just a weaker-than-average person, and I don’t have the power to turn them into corpses without a scratch on my body.
Far from being a serial killer, I’m a pathetic unemployed guy who can’t even swat a mosquito properly in early autumn.
“What’s the date today?”
“…I didn’t check the time.”
“Today is September 22nd.”
With that answer, my memory rewinds like a fast-forwarding film.
I woke up from sleep at 9:09 AM on September 9th, went grocery shopping, lamenting my situation.
I bought groceries worth 36,200 won, a small act of rebellion, to eat dinner and have some soju mixed with beer. I then returned home.
As I was walking past the school and the church, I heard a strange laugh and stopped.
At that moment, a huge pillar fell in front of me, in the opposite direction. A sturdy metal crucifix, strong enough to pierce a hole in the asphalt road, faced me.
And I saw something beyond the sparks from the church spire that flashed like lightning.
It was very small, black as the darkest night, within a thick, endless fog…
“Ah.”
K*ll.
Don’t suppress your anger.
They all deserve to d*e.
They insulted and persecuted you without hesitation. They are evil.
Tear their flesh and bathe in their fresh blood. Crush their bones and build an altar with their shredded skin.
I am the independent being and eternal absolute will that watches over you in the darkness that exists only there.
Because I exist, you exist.
Because you exist, I exist.
Show your anger.
Fight and rightfully claim it.
Prove that you are no less than them.
Crush the inferior beings and stand tall above them, praising me.
I…
“Twelve.”
As I expected, the four brutes from the labor service company, upon investigation, were from a subcontractor of a large corporation that was planning to demolish the entire shopping district and redevelop it.
Covered in blood, I returned home, washed myself roughly, and fell asleep. When I woke up, I ate some delivered food and went out again.
I just moved.
I couldn’t control my anger. I couldn’t stand the way those bastards persecuted innocent people for money, flattering those in high positions and persecuting others.
So I moved, as if possessed by something.
I infiltrated the company using the ID card I took from the labor service employees and found the president.
I beat him to death and quietly left the company. Again, covered in blood, I washed myself at home and fell asleep.
The next day, it was the police chief who received bribes from that president and turned a blind eye to the merchants’ reports.
I attacked and beat him to death as he was staggering home alone, drunk, after visiting a room salon.
I returned home again, wiped the blood off my hands, and fell asleep. My beard had grown quite a bit, but I didn’t shave.
The next day, it was the reporter who wrote false articles about the merchants, claiming their hygiene was terrible and they used cheap Chinese ingredients, all for the money from the large corporation.
Likewise, I attacked and beat him to death as he was returning from being lavishly entertained somewhere. When I returned home again, I did what I had to do and fell asleep.
And the next, and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next.
They were all villains who took dirty money and did dirty deeds, or extracted the essence of pain and despair from innocent people.
I didn’t hesitate because I understood the suffering of those who were being persecuted more deeply than anyone else. I knew how they felt without having to ask.
Strangely, wherever I went, CCTVs malfunctioned, locked doors opened on their own, or those running away would often trip and fall.
I believed it was an opportunity given to me by Heaven.
Because, after all, I wasn’t wrong.
Wherever the giggling laughter led me, there were always pieces of trash I had to deal with.
It was like a buffet where I could choose and eat as much as I wanted, as if to relieve the stress I had been enduring.
Since that was the only choice, I just chose the only path and walked it.
“In the name of our Lord Father in Heaven, I command you, state your name!”
“What difference does it make?”
“You will have the opportunity to confess your sins and repent.”
“That’s not an opportunity. It’s just another forced choice.”
“Cast away the evil within you and see the world with clear eyes. The Father illuminates all things with light and loves indiscriminately, so you too can feel His love.”
“Illuminates all things with light and loves indiscriminately? To me, it just looks like an old greenhouse where only a select few plants are allowed the safety of photosynthesis. Pests and diseases are rampant because some great being isn’t managing it properly, and wind, rain, and snow leak in, but they don’t care. Even at this moment, the greenhouse’s canvas is tearing, and the soil is becoming contaminated.”
“That is why, when the end of all things comes, one must stand proudly before Him, be forgiven for their sins, and go to Heaven where He resides. Sinners who do not will suffer in Purgatory and burn and crumble in H*ll, eventually forgetting their own existence in the abyss. So why do you choose to walk the path of a sinner?”
Grip.
“Why do I walk the path of a sinner? Did your great Lord Jesus Father not even tell you something so simple? No one walks the path of a sinner because they want to! They walk it because it’s the only path laid out before them, to survive!”
“Not all the weak and vulnerable walk the path of a sinner.”
“But an equal path isn’t prepared for everyone either. If He loves all things equally, why doesn’t He offer an equal path? If the paths He offers, while respecting human free will, are all like that, is He going to say to the human who chose it, ‘You walked that path just to survive, so I will punish you’?!”
“All hardships and trials, happiness and unhappiness, and even the fate of all things are created by G*d’s plan. Whether to commit sins and deny Him, or to do good and follow His will, is purely an individual’s will and choice.”
“That d*mn great plan! Even if an innocent person dies tragically, it’s G*d’s plan, and even if a sinner dies peacefully without punishment, it’s G*d’s plan?! If someone survives after being sick and dying, it’s because G*d’s grace was with them, and if they d*e unfortunately, it’s G*d’s will, mocking the victims!”
Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll. Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll.
“If there were no H*ll, no evil, no sin in the first place, there would be no confusion or injustice!”
There are numerous choices, and it’s purely up to the individual to decide.
But in reality, there are only two outcomes we face. That is, believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll.
This path will be different, right?
But even if you walk that path, there are only two outcomes.
Then how about this path?
Likewise, only two outcomes.
Why only two, not one or three?
Why is the freedom of choice, which humans are granted by a great being, limited to such a narrow range?
“That great G*d wants devout followers who believe in Him and only do good, yet at the same time, He wants paradoxical beings with unpredictable free will!”
Forgetting that I was bound, I struggled to sit up and shouted. It felt like the blood vessels throughout my body were bulging.
“Don’t oppress people with the ridiculous excuse of respecting free will! If the freedom of sinners must be suppressed, and the freedom of the righteous is just following a predetermined path, how dare you talk about freedom?!”
My confused mind cleared.
My clouded eyes seemed to open clearly like the autumn sky.
What truly angered me wasn’t that I always had to suppress my anger while being ‘oppressed’ by various factors.
I was angry at something more fundamental, and I was furious at the fact that I had to suppress that anger.
Rip! Tear!
I tore the cloth that bound my limbs with force and stood up proudly.
I no longer felt anything from the transparent liquid being sprinkled on me or the cross being held close to my skin. Because I wasn’t the ‘evil’ or ‘sin’ that they defined.
I was just…me.
“If that high-and-mighty being in Heaven wants mechanical zealots whose freedom is castrated, I’ll help Him out.”
I picked up the Bible that happened to be on the table.
“I’ll send every last one of them to Heaven. I’ll preach the solemn meaning of ‘Believe in Jesus, go to Heaven; don’t believe, go to H*ll’ to all the sinners in the world.”
I didn’t look back at them, frozen like statues, and added a word as I left the break room.
“But leave me out of that disgusting farce.”
While watching everyone ascend to Heaven, I will proudly walk into H*ll.
