Chapter 17: The Shape of a Dream – 7

ㅤEven after the soft sobs subsided, the warmth didn’t leave immediately. I wonder if it’s okay to be a little conceited. Lily, who pulled away from me more slowly than before, smiled shyly, as always.
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ㅤ”I’m sorry.”
ㅤ”It’s fine.”
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ㅤShe holds her hand over my shoulder, just like a month ago, and uses wind magic.
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ㅤ”I hope he continues to recover smoothly.”
ㅤ”Yes……I hope so……”
ㅤ”……? What’s wrong?”
ㅤ”No……It’s just that I’m a little frustrated that I haven’t been able to do anything this past month.”
ㅤ”Haha, you’re surprisingly competitive.”
ㅤ”That’s right.”
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ㅤHer expression is clear, despite her words. I’m happy to think that she’s feeling better, enough to exchange banter, and I realize that the one I was worried about wasn’t Oswald after all. Love is selfish.
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ㅤ”I’m like a child in front of Prince Arnold.”
ㅤ”Really?”
ㅤ”Yes. This is the first time I’ve cried so much in front of someone, and the first time I’ve been called competitive.”
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ㅤHer words finally solidify my resolve. I want to be a place where she can laugh naturally, cry, and talk happily about her sister. It doesn’t matter that the reason is because she can’t lie in front of me. I just want you to be the you that I fell in love with.
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ㅤ”Lily.”
ㅤ”Yes?”
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ㅤI take her hand, which she tilts her head at, and lead her to the bench. She seems a little flustered that I haven’t let go of her hand even after we’re seated, and says,”Um……”
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ㅤ”Sorry. This requires a bit of courage, so would it be okay if I hold your hand like this?”
ㅤ”I don’t mind, but……”
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ㅤI take a deep breath and exhale. I tighten my grip on her hand, which is much thinner than mine.
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ㅤ”Lily. I love you.”
ㅤ”……Thank you……?”
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ㅤHer bewildered expression makes me wonder if it didn’t get through even after being so straightforward. When I say,”It was practically love at first sight,”she finally lets out a surprised gasp and her cheeks flush red.
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ㅤ”L-Love at first sight?! Uh, um, I’m sorry. When did we first meet, Your Highness……?”
ㅤ”Ah, sorry. I don’t remember that clearly either.”
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ㅤLily looks confused. Yes, that’s understandable.
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ㅤ”The first time I truly met you was probably when you were the ‘Saint’ or the ‘Count’s daughter.’ It wasn’t that day, but the day you first smiled as yourself.”
ㅤ”……The day I smiled as myself?”
ㅤ”When you said, ‘That feeling is invincible.'”
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ㅤLily, who finally seems to understand, immediately starts to panic again, her face red.
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ㅤ”Um, but, why……?”
ㅤ”Because you were so straightforward that day. Strong and dazzling. I fell more and more in love with you, working hard with the same impression from that day……And sometimes I worry about you. I wondered if it was appropriate to tell you this while Oswald hasn’t fully recovered yet, but I want to be closest to your smile……And when you can’t smile, I want to be close enough to use my clumsy magic on you.”
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ㅤWhen I say”I love you”once more, my fingers are squeezed back. While I almost get my hopes up at that gesture, Lily’s eyebrows are lowered.
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ㅤ”I appreciate your feelings, but……I’m not in a position to reciprocate anyone’s feelings right now. At least not until Oswald shows more signs of recovery. Not until my sister finds happiness with him.”
ㅤ”What if I said I’d wait?”
ㅤ”N-No! That’s not acceptable, I don’t know how many years it will take……! For the sake of this country, you should find happiness soon.”
ㅤ”I want to find happiness for my own sake.”
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ㅤWhen I interrupt her and convey my feelings, she looks surprised.
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ㅤ”Just like you decided to protect the country for your sister’s sake, I want to make this country a better place for someone precious to me. Because you taught me how bright life can be when you love someone special.”
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ㅤI want to be close enough to feel the warmth of her hand in mine.
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ㅤ”I’m just unilaterally in love with you, so for now, I’m content with you just knowing…….But if even these feelings are a burden, I’d appreciate it if you told me.”
ㅤ”That’s……”
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ㅤLily, with the most troubled expression I’ve seen today, says,”That’s unfair.”Seeing her blush and avert her gaze, I can’t help but laugh, thinking that it is indeed unfair. I never thought I’d resort to such tactics.
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ㅤIf she can’t bring herself to say it’s a burden, it’s because she knows I would see through her lie if she did.
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ㅤ”Ahaha.”
ㅤ”Your Highness! That’s mean!”
ㅤ”Hehe……Ah, maybe you’re right. This is the first time anyone’s said that to me.”
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ㅤHer hand, which she raises as she says,”Oh my,”is still in mine. I thought that was enough for now.
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ㅤ━━There are times when you realize you’re dreaming, even within a dream.
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ㅤIt’s apparently called a lucid dream, and it’s important for me, who sometimes sees the future in dreams.
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ㅤWhen I became aware that I was dreaming, I could already hear soft sobs. I turned around and saw a girl crying, and I thought,”Ah, it’s the girl who was laughing happily before.”My heart aches as I watch the girl, who I still don’t recognize, cover her face with both hands and tremble.
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ㅤWhat is she so sad about? The place where she is seems as warm as before, and I’m so envious.
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ㅤIt’s okay, it’s okay. If you raise your head, you’ll surely see that you’re in the light. I want to tell her that, but I can’t do anything in a dream. Just as I’m feeling frustrated, I suddenly wake up.
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ㅤ”……”
ㅤ”Your Highness?”
ㅤ”……Sorry, I dozed off.”
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ㅤJoshua asks,”Are you tired?”and I shake my head. It seems I dozed off while working in my office.
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ㅤ”Shall we finish up early today? Things have calmed down considerably regarding the magical beast damage, so it’s alright to take a break.”
ㅤ”……Yes, okay……”
ㅤ”Your Highness……Did you have another dream?”
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ㅤJoshua, seeing me still dazed, peers into my face.
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ㅤ”I did, but……I don’t understand it.”
ㅤ”I see.”
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ㅤTo be honest, I’m not very good at dream divination. Unlike my father, who is said to be blessed with extraordinary talent, it’s rare for me to see the future clearly. He said,”But you’re good at seeing through lies,”but even with this ability, I’ve never been able to match my father.
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ㅤJoshua knows this, so he doesn’t press me further and just takes the documents I was holding.
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ㅤStill, I wonder who that girl was. A little girl. Is it some kind of omen, or just a dream? What can I do?
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ㅤAs I massage my forehead, Joshua kicks me out of my office. I obediently return to my private chambers and fall asleep, but I don’t see the continuation of the dream.