Chapter 19: The Shape of a Dream – 9

ㅤ”Thank you so much for inviting us today.”
ㅤ”Yes, come again.”
ㅤ”Okay!”
ㅤ
ㅤAs the sun began to set, Oswald and Chelsea left. After waiting for the door to close with a click, Lily let out a small sigh.
ㅤ
ㅤ”I apologize that my sister became so attached to you.”
ㅤ”No, it was fun hearing such precious stories. I want her to read me a book with monsters in it too.”
ㅤ”Don’t tease me.”
ㅤ
ㅤI take Lily’s hand as I say,”I’m actually quite serious,”but she doesn’t believe me.
ㅤ
ㅤ”More than that, I’m a little jealous.”
ㅤ”Huh?”
ㅤ”Because you and Oswald seem to get along so well.”
ㅤ
ㅤLily makes a wry face as soon as I say that, and I can’t help but laugh. But I really am jealous.
ㅤ
ㅤ”We don’t get along well. I wonder why you think so.”
ㅤ”Hmm……How should I put it, you’re in sync, or rather……You’re not afraid to speak your mind to him.”
ㅤ
ㅤPerhaps because of Chelsea’s presence, they were both acting maturely towards me, but they seemed to be quite frank with each other. It was the first time I saw Oswald speak so casually, and I think Lily only acts deliberately cold in front of him.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……I thought you didn’t notice because you were so engrossed in talking with Chelsea. That was childish of me, I’ll be more careful.”
ㅤ”It’s just that I have good hearing.”
ㅤ
ㅤI probably wouldn’t have had the chance to see her make an expression like a child caught in mischief otherwise. It seems that my lingering frustration won’t be conveyed to her properly.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……You said you were going to have the ceremony soon, right?”
ㅤ”Yes. I’m looking forward to it……and a little sad.”
ㅤ”You should indulge in that sadness. I’m sure Chelsea feels the same.”
ㅤ”……Yes.”
ㅤ
ㅤLily’s hand squeezes mine back. Feeling that, I kneel on one knee, as I did before.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Your Highness?”
ㅤ”I’m glad I fell in love with you.”
ㅤ”W-What brought this on so suddenly?”
ㅤ”It’s not sudden.”
ㅤ
ㅤIt’s something I’ve been thinking all along. I just realized it again today.
ㅤ
ㅤ”My life wasn’t boring before I fell in love with you. I thought I was blessed, and I believed that if I could give something to someone, I should. But it was a very vague feeling……After I fell in love with you, that feeling became clearer. Because of you, I can love the world clearly. I want to protect you, the people you care about, and everyone who comes after.”
ㅤ
ㅤThis is surely my”invincible feeling.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”I’ll be waiting for the day you accept my feelings.”
ㅤ”……Yes.”
ㅤ
ㅤI hope she only smiles with tears in her eyes in front of me.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ”Excuse me.”
ㅤ”Come in.”
ㅤ
ㅤAfter knocking and calling out, a quiet voice replied from the back of the room. It’s been a while since I was summoned to my father’s office.
ㅤ
ㅤWhen I enter the room, my father, who seems to have been working, puts away the documents he was holding and turns to face me. We’re alone in this room, where I was called for an important discussion. I feel my body tense up, mirroring my father’s serious expression.
ㅤ
ㅤMy father’s eyes narrow. I gulp nervously.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Well, you see, Papa……”
ㅤ”……Your Majesty, could you please stop calling yourself ‘Papa’……?”
ㅤ
ㅤMy body instantly relaxes. My father, who had a serious expression just a moment ago, lets out a childish, dissatisfied,”Ehhh~!”He’s usually dignified in front of everyone, behaving in a manner befitting the Wise King, but for some reason, he acts like this in front of me. I really wonder why. I really do.
ㅤ
ㅤ”It’s fine.”
ㅤ”Please be mindful of your age.”
ㅤ”I’m only forty-two.”
ㅤ”I’m talking about my age.”
ㅤ
ㅤIt’s true that my father is still young. He succeeded my grandfather, the previous king, who passed away early, and I was born when he was nineteen. But I’m turning twenty-three soon. I’m certainly not at an age where I can cutely call him”Papa.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”A child is always a child, no matter how old they get.”
ㅤ”Yes, yes……So what is it that you want?”
ㅤ”You’re so cold. Are you saying you don’t need your father’s love anymore now that things are going well with the Saint?”
ㅤ
ㅤSeeing his mischievous grin, I’m speechless, wondering if he sees right through me. Perhaps he knew this day would come ever since he asked me to meet with the Saint in his place.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……I think I’ll be getting a positive answer soon, so I’ll introduce her to you in the near future.”
ㅤ”Ah, I’m looking forward to it.”
ㅤ
ㅤThere’s no point in arguing with my father when he’s in such a good mood.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Anyway, Papa, I was thinking……”
ㅤ”……I’ve given up on correcting you, but what is it?”
ㅤ”I’m going to remarry.”
ㅤ
ㅤThe unexpected words, coming from such a flippant tone, leave me dumbfounded.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……H-Huh……W-When, to whom……And why now, after all this time?”
ㅤ
ㅤI thought he was joking, but contrary to his tone, my father had a serious expression on his face. He’s the kind of man who offered flowers at my mother’s grave almost every day for twenty years, except when he was away on official business. I couldn’t imagine him saying such a thing, even as a lie or a joke.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……Alicia appeared in my dream.”
ㅤ”My mother?”
ㅤ
ㅤIt’s not something I’ve experienced much myself, but the dead do appear in dreams. It’s not because of a desire to see them, but it’s one of the talents of dream divination. They sometimes offer advice from heaven, or comfort us. It might be common for my father, who has a strong ability for dream divination, but I’ve never heard him say that my mother appeared before.
ㅤ
ㅤ”What did my mother say?”
ㅤ”……That it’s enough.”
ㅤ
ㅤMy father’s eyes cloud over with sadness. For a moment, I’m reminded of the day my mother passed away, but the next instant, he’s grinning.
ㅤ
ㅤ”I protested, you know. I told her I still only loved her.”
ㅤ”……And my mother?”
ㅤ”She said that if I felt that way, it meant there was already someone else to support me. She scolded me, saying that life is still long, so I should cherish that person and live properly.”
ㅤ
ㅤThat sounds like her, I think. I barely have any memories of her, but in the faint remnants, I see my mother scolding my father, who is laughing after playing a prank.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……She was a wonderful woman.”
ㅤ”……You’ll be scolded again if you use the past tense.”
ㅤ”Haha, you’re right.”
ㅤ
ㅤMy father, laughing cheerfully, says,”Well, that’s that,”and stands up. He might have cried like he did that day, even though I didn’t know it. If there was someone to support him, I think it’s a good thing. I feel a little sad thinking about my mother, though.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Alicia also said it was because she no longer had any worries.”
ㅤ”Worries?”
ㅤ”It’s probably about you. Ha, it’s sad to be jealous of my own son.”
ㅤ
ㅤHe returns to his joking tone as he passes by me and reaches for the door.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Oh, and one more thing.”
ㅤ”What else?”
ㅤ
ㅤWhen I tilt my head, my father smiles mischievously.
ㅤ
ㅤ”You’ll have a little brother soon.”
ㅤ”Huh?……What?!”
ㅤ”Well, you know, my dreams are always accurate.”
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ㅤHis exaggerated laughter,”Ahahaha,”disappears beyond the door. I’m left alone, unable to process the situation.
ㅤ
ㅤ”A……little brother……”
ㅤ
ㅤAt my age. I was surprised enough by his remarriage, but this is completely unexpected. But it’s also true that my father’s dreams are often accurate. I really can’t compete with him, as I continue to be bewildered.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……A little brother, huh.”
ㅤ
ㅤAs I repeat the words, my feelings gradually calm down…….A little brother, someone who will probably adore me unconditionally at first, just because I’m his older brother. I have to work hard so that I won’t be ashamed in front of him, so that he’ll always look up to me.
ㅤ
ㅤ”I’ll do my best.”
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ㅤFortunately, there’s someone very close to me who’s already doing her best. She’ll surely be happy to know that I have another reason to love the world.
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ㅤThe small fist I clench in the middle of the room is a declaration of my resolve, still unknown to anyone else.