Ch 386: The Mask Slips

“Your Deadpool Sir is back…fuck!” Wade’s triumph was short-lived, interrupted by the heavy pressure on his body. “Are you guys still busy? Everyone’s gone, so you don’t have to keep an eye on me, right?”

“Hey hey hey! Didn’t say anything about you, did I? Why do you keep pulling my little elephant?”

“Did I say anything about you? Get your dirty hands off, don’t touch my bell!”

“Don’t touch there, guys, let’s talk things over, fuck, shit, damn…help!”

Even with amazing skills, Wade couldn’t move, like a monkey under the Five Finger Mountain. The more arrogant he was before, the louder he screamed now.

“We really don’t need to worry about him?” Hearing Wade’s plea for help, Bullet, who was already a short distance away, seemingly unconcerned, but actually somewhat worried, said, “He’s being pressed down like that, even if he has the strength, he won’t be able to use it, right?”

“Then you underestimate him!” Ye Xiao was testing, testing whether Wade recognized him, “Wade’s strength exceeds many people’s imagination!”

‘Damn it, the cursed timeline!’

Ye Xiao’s thoughts, like a woman’s fickle heart, it wasn’t that he was indecisive. If it were a stranger, if he was in a good mood, he wouldn’t mind helping, if he was in a bad mood, whether they lived or died, he wouldn’t even glance at them.

But if it was his friend, he was quite partial.

Ma Xiao Ling and the others aside, let’s talk about Jiang Chen. He was both righteous and evil, possessing great love and also a disregard for life. Azu, without Ye Xiao pulling him back, with his personality, he would eventually walk the road of opposing the whole world. Harley, how many people were terrified of her? Even in the Justice League, quite a few people avoided her like the plague. Lao Wan, was he a good person? From the perspective of humanity, he was a person without any bottom line, absolutely bad to the core. Moer, he was called his subordinate, but when had Ye Xiao ever seen him as a subordinate?

Regardless of who it was, Ye Xiao basically interacted with them on an equal footing.

Among most of the people he knew, if he hadn’t appeared, they would basically have been on a one-way path to destruction.

How was Ye Xiao with them?

They got along very well!

In the end, Ye Xiao wasn’t a purely good person. His strength came too easily, and many of his concepts hadn’t changed. Even after ten thousand years of seclusion after the Bronze Gate, that was about the fusion of strength; mentally, he had the opportunity to become a god, to abandon human emotions, but he gave it up himself.

He didn’t want to be a god without emotions, but wanted to be a human being with blood and flesh!

Therefore, with his strength increasing rapidly, almost directly leaping to his current level, he had both the common soft-heartedness of ordinary people and the mentality of “not eating beef” after gaining strength. The combination of the two created a somewhat contradictory him.

On the one hand, he didn’t care about status, strength, or mentality, interacting with anyone equally without a superior mentality. On the other hand, he also had a disregard for life, a kind of “all beings are equal” mentality.

But most of the time, the former prevailed.

This went off on a tangent. If the Wade screaming for help behind him was the Wade from the Void Land, Ye Xiao had to admire his talent in acting. If it wasn’t…

“You’d better pray it is!”

Otherwise, he would have to let loose.

“What do you mean?” Cable inexplicably had a bad premonition.

Ye Xiao glanced at him, smiled: “If you don’t want to die, either call your mother now, or pray that the scumbag behind you is the scumbag I know!”

Cable, who felt like he was falling into an ice cave from Ye Xiao’s gaze, thought quickly, but couldn’t understand why Ye Xiao’s change was so big: “What’s going on? It was fine just now!”

“My bad, my bad!” The voice from behind came closer and closer. Wade, who had somehow gotten a new uniform, clung to Ye Xiao’s arm coquettishly. “Good boss, I know I was wrong. It was the internet slang buddies’ idea. I said that our long-awaited reunion deserved a big hug, but the internet slang buddies said I should pretend not to know you and give you a big surprise!”

“You…” Cable and the other two exchanged glances between Ye Xiao and Wade. “Know each other?”

“Know each other, know each other!” Wade nodded like a chicken pecking at rice, explaining, “Didn’t I run out of money a few days ago and want to find a job? They didn’t want me, so I thought I’d bypass the interviewer and go straight to their boss. Who knew their boss was fighting with someone else? I just helped a little, um, and got some reward!”

“So you got arrogant after getting the reward and forgot about finding a job?” Ye Xiao said with a smile. “Alright, you’ve tricked me twice!”

“No, just this once!” Wade cried out, saying pitifully, “That was all me from other timelines, it has nothing to do with me. By the way, boss, how come you’re here? I remember you went back to report.”

“I’m out here making a living, who do I need to report to?” He gave Wade a whack on the head. He didn’t hear a crisp sound, but a “smack,” probably because Ye Xiao hit Wade’s pus-filled blister on his head. “The undead Ancient One screwed me over. Your boss is now the boss of Kamar-Taj and the founder of the New Continent!”

“What New Continent?” Seeing that he had successfully changed the subject, Wade was secretly delighted and quickly picked up the conversation. People who talk a lot never let other people’s words fall to the ground.

“You’ll know later!” Ye Xiao didn’t say much. Since he had confirmed that this Wade was the Wade from the Void Land, some things were better left unsaid for now. “I have a task for you. If you meet me later, you have to pretend you don’t know me, understand?”

“Who are you?” Wade got into character quickly, immediately distancing himself from Ye Xiao cautiously. “Hey! I’ve seen through you! Tell me, where have you hidden my boss?”

“Not now, you idiot!” Knowing Wade was joking, Ye Xiao was still speechless. He instructed, “If you do this well, I’ll give you a chance to make money. How much you make depends on your eloquence!”

“Aha, you still understand me, boss,” when it came to eloquence, Wade was never afraid. He patted his chest and guaranteed, “Don’t worry, boss, my eloquence has been proven in practice and has received public recognition. Just now, a beautiful woman was so moved by me that she became incontinent!”

“Don’t use that description, you bastard, that’s called abandoning darkness and embracing the light!”

Ye Xiao ‘corrected’ Wade’s mistake, causing the three behind them to collapse.

“Isn’t his description wrong either?” Bullet knew that her cultural level was limited, but no matter how limited, she could still hear that what Wade said and what Ye Xiao said weren’t the same thing. But both seemed to understand each other’s meaning and were satisfied with their sentence construction skills. “But how did he get out?”

“Oh, you mean how I got out?” Don’t look at Wade, who is full of flaws, but this doesn’t hinder his excellent hearing. “First this, then that, understand?”

“What are you talking nonsense about?” When it came to Wade, Bullet wasn’t so polite. “If you want to say it, say it, if you don’t want to say it, shut up!”

“He means he used space-time jump, first went back to the future, then traveled back, thereby avoiding the robots’ human pyramid, changed clothes in the future, took a bath, and then launched a surprise attack from behind, killing those robots!” Ye Xiao’s translation was very skillful. There was no way around it, he was used to interacting with the speechless Cloak, although the Cloak used sign language, and Wade only farted.

And they were all silent farts. His overdeveloped back door couldn’t even hold in hemorrhoids, let alone expect his farts to whistle.

“Are you serious?” Bullet looked unbelievable. “How did you interpret such a long meaning from six words?”

“Anyone who has studied classical Chinese will understand!” Wade spoke for Ye Xiao, but looking at his proud expression, it seemed that the one who understood classical Chinese was this illiterate person.

“Impossible!” Cable glanced at the Time Watch on his wrist, and he was very certain that with the technology of Wade’s era, it was simply impossible to create such a thing. “He doesn’t have the ability to travel through time!”

“Shut up, you purple-skinned freak! I’ve disliked you for a long time, you’ve been ruining my good times!” Wade scolded Cable, saying disdainfully, “You think you’re the only one with a Time Watch? My Sir’s is more advanced than yours!”

The people from the Time Variance Authority had already contacted him, wanting him to find new anchor points to stabilize his world.

To say that he cared, Wade didn’t care much. The internet slang buddies in the livestream had already told him that the Time Variance Authority was fooling him, but he still pretended not to know, wanting to get the equipment the Time Variance Authority gave him.

Besides unlimited uniforms, there were also weapons, carbon steel dual blades that could suppress self-healing abilities. The intention was to let him deal with Wolverine, but Wade secretly sold several of them. He even sold the knives to his former self who had just become Deadpool. Otherwise, with his financial situation at the time, how could he afford such expensive weapons?

Whenever the money from selling equipment ran out, he would come out for a stroll and make a show for the Time Variance Authority. As for whether the Time Variance Authority would find out, well, do you think he was basically a permanent resident of the New Continent for nothing?

Of course, in this Wade’s timeline, he hadn’t yet reached the time when Ye Xiao created the New Continent. His timeline was between his first meeting with Ye Xiao and the second time Ye Xiao looked for help.

His current thought was, whether they found out or not, they could deal with it when they came to the door. He didn’t care about money, but he had many lives!

Among the many pieces of equipment, there was a time bracelet that could travel through time. Afraid of accidentally losing it, he specially cut open his stomach and put the time bracelet in his stomach.

The quality of the time bracelet was very good. Wade’s body had been blown up several times, but the time bracelet was undamaged.

‘But it’s still not safe, it’s safer to put the ‘money’ in my underwear pocket!’

Thinking of how he had just painstakingly dragged several robots on the ground, his body’s front was worn away, before crawling out of the alley and picking up the time bracelet and the gem in the place where he first died, Wade felt a toothache.

‘The worn-off flesh is enough for more than ten people to eat a meal of dumplings!’

He also forgot where he picked up the gem. A black gem, so black that it seemed to absorb light. He tried to sell it, but no one bought it, so he kept it, hoping to meet someone who didn’t know the value and trick them into buying it.

But one day, when he and Vanessa were sitting on the balcony playing a stimulating game, a meteor suddenly streaked across the sky, and he made a wish, and unexpectedly, the wish came true. He really found money after stepping in dog shit the next day.

After the internet slang buddies’ explanation, Wade knew he had found a treasure, a plot consistency gem that could make the unreasonable reasonable.

That made sense. He said that as a popular character, he had extraordinary luck. He had been unlucky before, because the cheat hadn’t arrived yet.

Then it’s reasonable for the X-Men members to appear in his independent movie, right?

They’re all Marvel people, why don’t you come and vote for me?

What? Everyone’s coming? Can’t afford it?

Then let’s start with a few. When my independent movie sells well at the box office, I’ll invite more.

However, regarding the topic of “Marvel savior,” I need to emphasize again that Tony isn’t, I am. Because of me, there is such a bug character as Ye Xiao.

Look, by being by his side, I’ve gotten so much attention, my popularity is rising!

The chapter describing me should be the longest one so far, right?

Can anyone help me count it?

“Hehe…”

Seeing Wade, who was talking, suddenly let out a silly laugh, several people were already used to it.

“Go, lead the charge!” Ye Xiao didn’t know what Wade was thinking. To let him invade Wade’s brain and check Wade’s thoughts, he would rather go on a trip to India. Both were disgusting, but the latter was at least a place where humans could stay. Wade’s brain was purely a dung beetle’s buffet. “Take the gun, really, you have a gun and don’t use it, how can you be called a grandmaster?”

“I know, boss, times have changed,” Wade took the gun, fiddled with it, and successfully found the shooting method. “It’s a hot and spicy era now, come on, let the gunfire be more intense. I’m going to let these soulless robots taste Deadpool Sir’s might, yohoho, I’m coming!”

“This way!” Ye Xiao grabbed Wade by the back of his neck, turned him around, and pointed to the street ahead. “Walk along this road, I’ll tell you when to stop. Go, Pikachu, your voice actor is about to be on stage. Let them see the Green Lantern’s might!”

“Ahhhhh! Boss, you’re rubbing salt in my wounds!” Wade hated the three words ‘Green Lantern’ the most, gritting his teeth. “That loser almost made me really die. Thankfully, I found myself, I am me, a different firework, my name is Wade, codename Deadpool, I endorse myself!”

“Charge, charge, cool and crazy Deadpool!” Ye Xiao made a gesture of giving the warplane takeoff signal on the deck, tempting and encouraging. “If you’re the first one to get to Little Mustache, I’ll buy you a black big jeep!”

“Received, Captain, just watch!” Wade was like a rutting bull, white smoke coming from his nose. Even with a cigarette in his mouth, it didn’t stop him from kicking his feet on the ground randomly, like a bull gathering strength in the arena. With a “moo,” he charged out.

Watching Wade, who was like he had been injected with chicken blood, holding the gun above his head and shooting with faith, Cable and the other three were dumbfounded.

“Sifu~”

Ye Xiao, holding a cigarette in his hand, with one hand behind his back, was very calm: “See? That’s the right way to use Wade!”

“You, him…” Bullet didn’t know what to say, stammering for a long time, she squeezed out two words: “No money!”

Xuexu also said softly: “We’re still students, we all live in the dormitory!”

Professor X’s mansion was not small. When his parents passed away, they also left him a considerable family fortune, but his parents’ inheritance had long been spent.

The school he founded accepted those who were half-abandoned. The reason why he said half-abandoned was because most of these students had parents, but it was no different from having no parents.

Don’t expect those parents who regarded them as demons and wished they could hand them over to the government to pay their tuition fees.

In fact, most of the students who had enrolled, their parents hadn’t come to see them once.

This place could be called a school, but also an orphanage.

Not only the students’ expenses, but also the teachers’ expenses were covered by Professor X.

With so many people’s food, clothing, and daily necessities, even if Professor X had a lot of wealth, how long could he maintain it without any income?

He made Beast a bridge of communication between the government and mutants, also with the intention of letting the government provide relief.

And the US government already had a headache dealing with Magneto’s Brotherhood. They needed someone to restrain Magneto, and Professor X was the best candidate.

In order to prevent Professor X from defecting, the US government had no choice but to provide funds to Professor X.

Of course, while providing funds, it didn’t affect the US government’s capture of mutants worldwide.

Why couldn’t Professor X be tough against the US government?

One was the environment. Mutants were already being hunted, it was basically impossible for them to go out to find jobs or start businesses. No one would accept them, and no one would let their companies be established.

However, some mutants whose abilities weren’t that strong and were not high-profile had successfully hidden their identities, and they would also donate to Professor X.

There were also some anonymous people who didn’t hate mutants and believed that mutants could live in harmony with humans, who would also secretly donate to Professor X.

Among these anonymous people, there were also some students’ parents. Not every pair of parents were stupid. They loved their children very much, but if their identities were exposed, they wouldn’t be able to protect their children, so they could only send their children to school.

They couldn’t visit openly, but they could still call or video chat privately.

Basically, by looking at the students’ mental state, one could tell who had normal parents and who didn’t.

Unfortunately, Bullet and Xuexu’s parents were not normal. They were both students who lived on the “relief” provided by the school!

“Did you see me spending money?” Ye Xiao shrugged. “If you don’t have real money, you can’t get fake money? Why don’t you learn from me? Get some more exquisite ghost money, wouldn’t he be quite happy?”

“He doesn’t know that’s money for the dead!” Xuexu shook her head, timidly saying, “If he knew, he would definitely make trouble for us!”

Although she didn’t dislike Wade, she definitely didn’t want to wake up in the morning and see Wade’s stinky face inches away. She didn’t want to see Wade embracing two women, lying between them two, and even less wanted to see Wade lying naked between them two.

“Then don’t let him know!” Ye Xiao knew that the internet slang buddies in the livestream that only Wade could see would definitely be happy to see Wade suffer. Based on his years of watching livestreams, the audience in the livestream room liked to see jokes that were harmless and wouldn’t cause substantial harm to the streamer.

Tricking Wade, who loved money like Vanessa, with fake money, the people in the livestream wouldn’t expose it, but there was a high probability that they would exaggerate and fabricate some false history, then seriously explain it to Wade.

This kind of paper money is very valuable in another kingdom, it’s hard currency, ordinary people can’t even use it. You have so much at once, when you get to another kingdom, you’ll definitely become a very rich person. Don’t you believe it? Look at the zeros on it, that’s the symbol of wealth!

“Look, can he still find the money I gave him just now? It’s already been blown to ashes!”

The brief melee just now was like a missile strike, there wasn’t a single intact place on the whole street. Wade’s body was blown to pieces again and again, and the paper money he had placed on his chest had long been reduced to dust that couldn’t even be swept away.

Did you give him the money?

Yes!

You say it’s fake? How do you prove it?

There’s no evidence!

Cable also thought of this, his facial expression was extraordinarily colorful: “Is it really okay to cheat him like this?”

“You feel sorry for him?” Ye Xiao pretended to be afraid and distanced himself from Cable. “Don’t tell me that after your body was modified, your psychology was also modified? Let your mother know that you now like men, when Dark Phoenix wants to kill you, your mother definitely won’t stop her!”

The two little girls also looked at Cable with strange eyes, then quickly looked away.

The pretentious performance made Cable’s face turn blacker and blacker: “I have a wife and children!”

Before the future changed, his wife and children were killed, which also prompted him to travel back to take revenge. In the altered future, his wife and children were “resurrected.”

Although from the perspective of his wife and children, they had never died, only Cable knew the pain of losing his family, and he absolutely wouldn’t allow that situation to happen again.

So when he learned that Wade messed up the timeline, his first thought was to reorganize the messed-up timeline and restore it to its original state.

“Male wife or female wife? Are the children adopted or biological?” Ye Xiao said indifferently, “Your American gender would make even genetics experts dumbfounded. There are even cases of marrying dogs in Japan, marrying cows in India, and marrying fish next door. Having a wife and children doesn’t prove anything, it only proves that you, after being modified, have normal needs!”

“Hey, let’s not dwell on this,” patting Cable on the shoulder, Ye Xiao comforted, “You’re still alright. There’s another modified person next door, his modification is more thorough, he doesn’t even have the capital to be erect. I also know a robot, you should have heard of him, Vision, he married the Scarlet Witch, and they have two children.”

“Uh…those two children may not be around now, but they will have other children, real biological ones!”

Vision, who possessed the power of six Infinity Stones, plus Ye Xiao’s help, whether he’s human or not, he now has the abilities humans have.

When Ye Xiao secretly went back, he saw the Scarlet Witch shopping with Ma Xiao Ling and others on the street. Her complexion was rosy, and it was clear that her and Vision’s nightlife was very good.

……

“What are they doing? What are they doing?” In the Prime Minister’s Office, Kang, disguised as a failed art student, watched the footage transmitted from the drone, inexplicably feeling angry. “Good, you’ve successfully angered me!”

He had issued a kill order here, but over there, not only was there no sense of urgency to be killed, but they were laughing and chatting, just like chatting with friends while shopping.

This clearly showed that they didn’t take him seriously!

“Someone!”

The robot guarding the door heard the sound from inside and immediately knocked on the door.

“No need to knock, come in!”

Feeling provoked, Kang said without turning his head: “Activate the secret troops!”

It was called the secret troops, but internally, it was no longer a secret. It was just that many people thought they had been injected with the Captain America serum and had become super soldiers. No one knew that Kang didn’t use the serum at all, but another technology.

Although Kang did have a lot of Captain America serum, it was the stock he had intercepted in various cycles, but it was just for his collection.

He really didn’t look down on the serum’s effects!