Chapter 26: Auction
ㅤThe following morning, at dawn.
ㅤA crowd of adventurers had gathered in the plaza in front of the 3 Guild Joint Purchasing Office.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Come one, come all, gather around and take a look! What we have here is a rare delicacy favored by the nobility, the ultra-potent aphrodisiac, 『Orc’s Testicles』! Today, as a special offer, we’ll be presenting this rare drop item to the highest bidder in an auction!”
ㅤ
ㅤShizu-san energetically calls out, a stark contrast to her serious demeanor from yesterday.
ㅤI’m trying to minimize my presence, observing the auction from a slight distance. I feel like the older sister of a protagonist from a Showa-era baseball anime.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Hey, hey, there’s no such thing as a free lunch!”
ㅤ”That’s right! If someone got their hands on Orc’s Testicles, they’d definitely sell them themselves!”
ㅤ
ㅤImmediately, the adventurers start voicing their doubts.
ㅤ
ㅤ”The item offered today is a special case! The seller wants to focus on dungeon exploration, so they brought it to the guild! Because of its nature, it’s difficult for the guild to purchase it directly! So, we decided to hold an auction with a guild appraisal certificate attached!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Aha, I see.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”That can happen……can it?”
ㅤ
ㅤ”The seller avoids the hassle of negotiating with the nobility.
ㅤThe buyer saves the trouble of risking their life for a rare drop……that’s the idea.
ㅤI see, clever.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”But, it depends on the price. There’s no guarantee negotiations with the nobility will go well.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”In that case, just state a price that guarantees a sale. If you think it’s too high, you can drop out.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”So, it’s the same as playing cards.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Sounds interesting. I’m in!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Me too, me too!”
ㅤ
ㅤ（They’re quite quick to understand.）
ㅤ
ㅤShizu-san said that adventurers are sensitive to profit and loss, so they should understand quickly, and she was right.
ㅤ
ㅤ”First, let me show you the guild certificate! Those in the front row, take a good look as representatives!”
ㅤ
ㅤAt Shizu-san’s cue, the adventurers in the front row examine the certificate with serious expressions.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Next, the item! Orc’s Testicles! Anyone here ever seen them before? Ah, that magician over there. How about it, they’re the real deal, right?”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Hmm. Nothing seems amiss at first glance. However, the guild certificate is more reliable. I can’t take responsibility.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”That’s fine, it’s just a reference! Some people might feel uneasy without seeing the real thing.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Just start the auction already!”
ㅤ
ㅤA voice rose from the back row, as if they couldn’t wait any longer.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Alright, alright.
ㅤBut, before that, let me explain the rules! It’s simple! Raise your hand and state the amount you’re willing to pay! The person who offers the highest amount wins! This is a one-shot deal, no hard feelings!
ㅤYou can change your bid as many times as you want, but once you win, you’re obligated to buy it at that price! No cancellations whatsoever! Of course, you can’t say you’ll pay later because you don’t have the money on hand! If you break the rules, you won’t be able to participate in future auctions!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”W-Will there be a next time?!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”That’s a secret for now!
ㅤNow, let’s begin! One Orc’s T*sticle, starting price is 10 gold coins!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”15 coins!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”I’ll go 20!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”24!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”It’s Orc’s Testicles, you know?! I’ll offer 40!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”What?! Then I’ll go 45!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Too low, 60!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Seriously?! Fine, 63!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”64!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”D*mn it, how about 70!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”D*mn it, this is going nowhere! I’ll go for 100!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Hah! Don’t be ridiculous! Uh……101!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Pfft, cheapskate! 120!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”What?! I heard that! 125!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”……I’ll quietly say 126.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”12……uh, 8!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”130!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”D*mn it, just give it up already! 133!”
ㅤ
ㅤ（Things are heating up.）
ㅤ
ㅤI wonder if they can afford it.
ㅤ
ㅤThen, Shizu-san said,
ㅤ
ㅤ”Are the bids starting to d*e down?! This is going to be decided soon!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Fine, whatever! 140! How about that!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Anyone else?”
ㅤ
ㅤ”……No way, 140 is too much.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Yeah, even if it sells for 150, it’s not worth the effort.”
ㅤ
ㅤ”It costs money to find a noble who’s willing to pay that much.”
ㅤ
ㅤThe adventurer who made the last bid in a moment of passion grimaces as the other adventurers whisper amongst themselves.
ㅤ
ㅤ”Alright, that’s it! Today’s first item, 『Orc’s Testicles』, sold for 140 gold coins to that warrior over there! Everyone, applause!”
ㅤ
ㅤCaught up in the moment, the adventurers applaud.
ㅤ
ㅤ”……Hey, didn’t she just say ‘today’s first item’?”
ㅤ
ㅤA sharp-eared adventurer mutters.
ㅤ
ㅤ”That’s right! There’s a second item in today’s auction!
ㅤAnd it is–this!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Is that……could it be, Troll’s Ointment?!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”What?!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”The one that instantly heals wounds that potions can’t?!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Who brought that to the guild?! D*mn it, what kind of drop luck do they have?!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Now, now, are your hearts and wallets ready?! This time, the starting price is 3 gold coins!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Woohoo, 5!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”7!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”10!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”20!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”Whoa, seriously?! 23!”
ㅤ
ㅤ”I’ll take that! 24!”
ㅤ
ㅤThe auction was more exciting than I imagined, and it was well into the morning when all of my items, Orc’s Testicles x 3 and Troll’s Ointment x 2, were sold.